All Hashed Out
POSTED AT 01:47 PM

platinumangel

I got back some Reflection Papers I wrote last quarter from Ms. Espiritu today, and I realized just how much I didn't believe in God then.

I had kept repeating that my faith was dry, that I'd tried so hard, for so long just to believe in God, but I couldn't... the faith wasn't there.

So I told her that I was just gonna fake it. Fake it long enough to keep everyone I know from going to hell. I could tell them that my faith was unbreakable, unshakable. And I'd be their perpetual source of faith, and hope.

And when I got it back recently, I realized that I do believe in God. The Confirmation. It changed everything.

And meeting everyone new this school year. Those people... you know who i'm talking about. And just knowing that I was loved, and that i helped these people in their lives, that I was a part of it...

That changed everything.

Plus, Ms. Espiritu's ever-lasting hope and belief in me... the things she said in reply to my reflections... that my lack of faith meant that there was something to fill up, and that my openness to receiving God was already a start for me to have him back in my life.

Yeah, maybe this is a milestone in the making.


In other randomness, Brother Haw was talking to us about Epikos, and explaining how they might've begun. It went like this:

Drunk people are gathered around after a long day at the fields.
Old guy: Alam mo ba, ang lolo ko, atapang. Maputulan man ng paa, di pa rin atakbo. Atapang siya.
Other guy: A, wala yan sa lolo ko... alam mo ba, ang lolo ko, ganito ganyan, ganito ganyan...

And it just made me think about my two lolos. I didn't get to know either of them. One, my dad's side, because i didn't have the choice. He died when i was two. The other, my mom's, because I chose not to. And despite the difference, both, i never got to know.

Shit, I wish I could reverse time.

Which leads us to our next topic. Juan Albert's blog. I swear, he writes like a pro. No piece has touched me like that since Waitin' on the Wonderful.

I had the most interesting after-school-in-school thing.

I got out of the classroom at four-ish----the time i was supposed to go home. I try as best i can to get downstairs quickly without further injuring myself (i can't walk normally anymore).
On the way down (Yes, Henry), I see Mr. Young. He says hi, and asks me if I'm going na. Do you wanna ask me something?
I say yeah, cos it's four already. He continues, "Oh... okay... bye." Give a tiny wave.

Bye.

Um... i missed something.

So I go down and find Alex. But no Rody.

Alex gives me instructions. Henry and I then proceed to go up to Mr. Young's office, i lend him my flashdrive so he can watch Russell Peters. He copies it, then I leave (seconds after Vincent, Kevin, etc... arrive... thank goodness i don't have to bear that again).

Henry leaves with me, and we go to bother Aldwin. First we talk about lame/corny/samething Chocolate-Pineapple jokes, and bother the Shanghainese teacher about an expression that Henry wanted to know about.

So we bother Aldwin. And I swear, he looks different everytime I see him. Every single time. So we walk away again.

Waste time.

Go bother Aldwin again. He is wearing a different shirt this time. See?

We talk and talk and he chimes in occasionally--he has his classroom decoration to do. So i say I gotta go, and I go.

Now I'm here, grounded all of a sudden, because mom has some personal vendetta against me and decides to ground me til the third quarter. Now, usually, I wouldn't give a flying fuck. But this gimmick was planned. If I'd known, then I wouldn't have planned it, but this had already been planned. And if it doesn't push through, she'll suddenly begin to appreciate how good I've been to her these past fifteen years.

Brave New Day
POSTED AT 12:23 PM

platinumangel

Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I know that it isn't something that you'd just tell other people on a whim, and it took a lot of courage to just come out and say that. But thank you anyway.

Alright! Let's move on to today's update shall we? And you will, again, get two Cantonese Words of the Day today, as I missed yesterday.

So I'm awake at six, argue with mom some more, and she finally agrees--we set a compromise. I see her old Math teacher for tutoring, I can go to the gimmick.

Eat breakfast. Chat. After a while, I go bathe, dress, and do all that. Andrew, turns out, also has to go to La Salle. We banter like all brothers do...

It went like this:
Andrew: *insult*
Me: *insult*
Us: *laugh*

... and he leaves, sends the driver back for me, and then I leave. We go to PowerPlant, and I just sit and wait around. I go to Fully Booked, read some books on Wicca, stare at the theatre's listings, text Aldwin and Henry, etc...

So Henry arrives! With his DS! I wanna see the cute little Nintendoggies!!! He plays a little, then closes it to wait for other Nintendoggers (my default term for people who play Nintendogs as well). We wait around some more.

Then Aldwin arrives! You know it's funny, both Henry and I were talking, staring down at the lower floor, when suddenly, I turn around, and there he is! And you know what? He looks different! Again! I dunno what it is but he just does.

And Henry notes that. Heh (we have history with this sound).

Talk, Henry brings out his DS, and we all get really really indecisive about where to eat. We check out the theatres, decide on 1:25's Sky High screening.

Then we get more indecisive, and to remedy that, we check out the food courtish area...

Kaya, Jap places, Jollibee... then we decide... naaaah.

So we go up to Burgoo again. Once we get to it, we have a seat, Henry and me, then Aldwin on the otherside. We order drinks, and I search futilely for Abby.

Anyhoo-ey, Henry and I seize crayons from the cup thing and start scribbling on the paper (me - Cantonese Chinese, Henry - mixed Jap and Chinese, and some odd faces). I end up rewriting the Li Bai poem and pronouncing it in Cantonese. Hehe. We chatter some more, and then Henry goes over to Aldwin's side to show him how Trevor acts.

We order food, and for the first time in a long, long time, I ordered something different. I ordered a Bacon Cheeseburger (I still couldn't finish it!), Henry had the Baked Macaroni and Cheese, and Aldwin had Grilled Salmon thing. So we begin the culinary task at hand, and Henry finishes his food, then has a Potato Skin. Aldwin started his Potato Skins too, then was playing the DS. Calling for Trevor.

Henry asks if he can whistle. He says he can't.

So we continue to eat, and scribble, and our server's name was Kris.

Um. Yeah. I'm too full to finish the last few fries on my plate, and we leave after paying (and having a little hassle with that too, cos we didn't know which bills to use).

So we leave, and catch the movie.

Sky High. Now I have to say, that was a DAMN GOOD movie. This is what Hollywood needs to be making more of! Predictable plots, reactions and script, and a lot of the "advice" that the people gave around (including sayings, idioms, proverbs, etc...) all seemed to be just inserted, and not transitioned into. And speaking of transitions, if Star Wars didn't have enough PowerPointish transitions, this certainly filled in the blanks. But it was still good. Cool, and good. The romance plot was not at all dreadful.

And it was funny at the end. "I went through puberty twice for this?" "My girlfriend became my arch enemy, my arch enemy became my best friend, and me best friend became my girlfriend."

Bag of laughs, that one.

But furthermore, (yes, Henry, Aldwin, you know this is coming) THERE WAS CANTONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WAS COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

And whatsmore, I UNDERSTOOD IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, we start walking around aimlessly.

Walk some more, and some more, and some more. We make no progress with anything until we finally go to the movie place again, and sit down for some food and rest.

I will continue this later, as it's 8:22 and I haven't eaten dinner yet. Another time.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aldwin has a sandwich, and I sit around and get nostalgic about Canada again. The place has been haunting me again. I miss it.

Just when I think I might explode from the love bubbling up inside of me, here come Aldwin and Henry to save the day.

Henry takes a half of the sandwich, and starts going on about Mooching. Henry finishes eating, and I decide to get water from Starbucks. But, she gives me a free taste of Strawberryness. It was okay... but nothing really good.

So Henry gets some too, and then we chatter (lightly) some more. Then Aldwin's mom comes over to say hi.

Hi, mom!

She asks what time he's gonna leave, and he says at around five thirty. Walks away, and then after a while, so do we. Now somewhere from the beginning to this time, we'd gone to have a picture card (Henry's second and Aldwin's first and my... i don't know how many-eth), then to PowerStation, and I see Andrew. With his friends. My goodness.

So we waste some more time, we go to Fully Booked, talk around, walk around... spot some interesting reads... then Henry realizes he'd lost his booster pack. SHOOT!!!!

We dash off around the mall, searching, but we don't find it. It brings us back down, and we sit at the pool on the far, secluded edge of the mall where Fully Booked used to be. But first, a run in with Paolo Segovia.

"Hi."

"Hi."

We sat at the fountain for a while and Henry brought out his DS again, played for a bit, took a few pictures that I deleted anyway.

We sit a tad more, then get going, down again, talking about Madonna's movie with some guy, and I see Alex! Then we see Andrew with some girl! Who isn't his girlfriend.

Hmph. So we walk up again. Up to the top where we're at Fully Booked again. We read a bit, and we're suddenly in the FRICKIN PREGNANCY SECTION?!?!?!!?

Read about baby's names... two books: Baby Names, and What Not To Name Your Baby...

LOL! Tucker Fudpucker!

Of course, the day is peppered with remarks about OPEN! and GIN, and much greeness on everyone's part.

Cheh.

Okay, then I have to go, and we go downstairs to the front exit.. then I realize I should've gone to O, like Alex and I'd agreed.

So we go all the way back up. And I find Alex. And I say goodbye to them, and we leave to downstairs... find Andrew with the same girl, and he protests that it ain't his girlfriend... and Alex starts feeling tattle-taley. I swear, even though he's older, he relies a lot on other people for his decisions.

Anyhoo, we go to the office, they drop me, all the while I'm texting Aldwin, then later Henry. Turns out, I can't work anymore cos everyone's leaving. I text Andrew and Alex to come back A.S.A.P. but they don't.... they make mom and dad wait an extra twenty plus minutes before Rody comes back. Now where on Earth they made him drive to, I don't know, but it took a hell of a long time.

So mom and Tess (her employee who she and dad are treating to dinner to talk about Officey stuff) get in the car when Rody finally gets to the office, Rody leaves, and Dad gets into the driver's seat.

Then it goes like this:

Mom: Do you wanna join us for dinner?
Me: No, my head really hurts. Please bring me home.
Mom: Oh, okay, well the ask Rody to bring you home. Then we go ahead.
Dad: Wala na yung driver.
Mom: Oh, well then we'll drop him off nalang and then go to eat. Teka, across polymedic lang naman e.
Dad: Ah sa polymedic lang ba? Na ani, lan sheng zai yi do ki, diao za ki zia (If so, then let's bring him home first, then eat).
Mom: Well, diyan lang naman, so Tess and I can just walk there.
Dad: Oo, then I bring him home. Pero wait, what about the car?
Mom: You bring him home nalang first, then Tess and I walk to Polymedic, then you bring the car back here, then walk to Polymedic. When we're done, we can just walk back.

But it ends up, we're all in the car, and they drop me home before going to Polymedic to eat. Hehe.

Now THAT is the embodiment of 出尔反尔 (chu1 er fan3 er). That was Mandarin.
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洗手間 sai2 sau2 gaan1
Washroom (polite/refined)

嘥時間 saai1 si4 gaan1
waste time

唔使 m4 sai2
no need/not necessary to

唔使去洗手間啦; 唔好嘥時間
m sai heoi sai sau gaan, m hou saai si gaan
No need to go to the restroom; don't waste time.

FUCKERS
POSTED AT 12:47 AM

platinumangel

I suppose all of you losers of the I-must-live-a-life-of-darkness-as-a-goth-with-no-belief-in-God-just-to-make-myself-seem-cool community that write about how damned your life is and how God has forsaken you, blah di blah di blah, why don't you all just fuck yourselves and go to hell, which you apparently worship so much?

I post one entry about my faith and i get a legion of flogs on my frickin tagboard about it. Jeez, is that all you can talk about? How God is cruel and how your belief is shattered, and how you can't seem to make yourselves complete again?

All of you know that's bullshit.

Grow up. Cos one of these days, you're gonna have to face the fact that your life is cool, and you can't keep making yourself depressed just to look like what twisted version of cool you believe in.

You know nothing about darkness. You have never experienced it.

You fucking suck. Especially that the_reborn loser. Just go slither away and eat your own young.

All the rest of you pieces of shit like that, stay the fuck away from my site until you grow up and get a life. I will never visit your site. I do not want your comments. I do not want your tags. I do not want you anywhere near my blog. Comprende?

Tingin niyo bang pasweetie-sweetie ako? Kaya ko rin mag-huramentado. Just try me.

Yes
POSTED AT 10:44 PM

platinumangel

Okay, here we go.

Dear the_reborn,

I am truly sorry. I take back the things I said, I am kneeling at your feet (metaphorically) and begging (metaphorically) for your forgiveness. I misinterpreted what you were trying to get across, and for that, I apologize.


That is my public apology to the_reborn.

I take back the things I said to him, but my stand on the Goth people still stands.

!!!
POSTED AT 02:59 AM

platinumangel

MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS, BUT I JUST NEED TO SAY...


HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO SEE "OPEN!" AND FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT "PENIS"??????

I MEAN, REMOVE THE "O", FLIP THE EXCLAMATION POINT AND ADD AN S???????? I BELIEVE I CAPTURED THE ESSENCE OF IT WHEN I SAID "IT'S THE SAME AS SAYING "TAKE "GIN", ADD A "VA" AT THE START AND AN "A" AT THE END AND IT'S "VAGINA"! I MEAN, HELLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

IT'S RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!! YOU COULD JUST SAY "HEY! LOOK! PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S CHANGE ALL THE LETTERS TO P-O-K-E!!!!!!!!! AIYIYIYIYIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

HOW DO YOU GET THAT lonely GREEN??????

Aigh
POSTED AT 09:38 AM

platinumangel

Shitty. This is getting shitty. That one lousy action has ruined it. Crap.

Forget that! If he wants to play like that, fine. Whatever. I apologized (no, this is not the_reborn I'm talking about), and now we'll see what he does.

Urgh... i just realized something: The reason that a lot of Filipinos (that went to school) can't speak very fluent English is because some of their English teachers aren't fluent themselves. Well, not that they aren't fluent, more of the fact that they make grammatical errors in their own speech.

An example: A few errors in speech by my English teacher (who speaks uber-fluent Filipino and French by the way):

"What kind of a remark did he say?"

"He made a sarcastic [assume here that he meant "he made a sarcastic remark"]."

Furthermore, he always uses "want" and "like" in the wrong sentences. There is hardly any difference between the two anymore, save for the largest difference:

Like implies that it's something that's become sort of a habit for you. Want means you want it now. And want is appropriate in some sentences, whereas like is more benevolent.

Example: I want to go home. You can't say "I like to go home." First, that fails to get the message across, and second, it means that going home is something you enjoy doing on a regular basis.

That doesn't make any sense in conversational English.


Rant over. Wish to sleep. Don't wanna wake. Someone just let me sleeeep. But no, homework is overwhelming. I hate homework. Person above is not helping.

URGH!

Gotcha
POSTED AT 10:30 AM

platinumangel

Thank God. Literally. After years and years of searching--gotcha, God.

I guess it's true that sometimes, you need to be desperate and depressed before you can truly see God. And you don't see Him as in see Him see Him. You perceive Him. In your heart.

You understand--the clarity is beautiful, but bittersweet.

With the weight of the world on these shoulders, I could finally see Him. I now understand why I need him so much.

When I've got no one left (and you KNOW I mean this figuratively), I just look up at the sky, or the ceiling, and I know He's there somewhere. Whenever I feel wind, I always know I feel God wisping by, watching over me, guarding me.

Whenever I see a blue sky, cloudless or not, I will always remember that there's another power at work out there, in a mystical way, and I can feel Him.

I know He'll never let me go, never just let me fade. Because I help myself... I don't just rely on luck or chance--I wing it, but I wing it with all the crap I've got.

And furthermore, it was God who helped me see that I shouldn't be wallowing over O, I oughta just pick myself up, shake the remnants of that big fiasco off of me and head off into the sky of my new life.

Funny, O never really occupied my thoughts until it happened. Heh.

So, O, see ya! Hope you have a great life. God, thanks for being there for me... it took a while, but I found ya.

I found ya.......... i found God. I've found God. I'VE found God.

That sounds perfect.

A Good Day
POSTED AT 10:31 AM

platinumangel

Yeah, it's a good day. It was a good day. Today has been great.

God hadn't occupied my thoughts all that much... but I must have thought about him once or twice. Hmm...

Reading meowpaw right now, and it reminded me of Ms. Natonton. She was supposed to be engaged... and she just walked into class one day with a ring on her left hand. I'm ecstatic for her... but she seems to be in denial or something. She just won't disclose anything. Thinking of her has, in turn, reminded me of Evan.

Evan has been getting a tad rebellious at the teachers... joking a little more than we're all accustomed to... maybe he's finally removing all that repression. All the teachers will never take offense... it's Evan! Hello!!!

He dun remember the name of this blog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a song by The Beatles that's been haunting me since Mom sand a bar or two from it. Yes, vinylstripes. The Beatles... i liked them back in grade four, so you have nothing on me.

It goes, "Love, love me do... you know I love you... i'll al-ways be true... so plee-ee--ee--eeeaase... love me dooo...."

The song is real simple. I think it's just four lines that aren't the refrain. Yes, this era of simple music has got me down.

Andy Lau's music rocks. I'm in love with that song on his site that first plays when you open the page...

I visited Mr. Young today... it's been a while... and his haircut doesn't look as good as it ought to on him... he should just let his hair grow... hair doesn't last forever you know...

Situation with O: Blank. I considered apologizing, or talking or something, but nah. I think i oughta just let this one die down. O's fine, said hi to me during Chinese (more as jest than anything), but i guess it's fine. I miss those days when we could just talk. But--whatever.

A line from The Crash Poets' Goodbye best describes this: Out of sight, not out of mind.

And... OH MY FRICKIN GOD!!!!!!!! ANOTHER EMAIL FROM AARON LINES!!!!!!! THIS DAY HAS JUST BEEN THE BEST!!!!!!!!

It goes:

Thanks for the email Allen. Glad to hear you like the new songs. As for
the new CD...it's available off my website right now and will be in
stores on Sept 6. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think. Take
care.

--Aaron Lines

Life finds good ways to sneak up on you.

Of course, the whole day has followed in the tradition of bad-start, good-end. Today, Alex woke up at six thirty so... naturally, I was livid and peeeeeved.

Just as I'm about to leave him, he suddenly asks me to wait for him. I walk upstairs and tell dad to tell the guard to let me leave him. Dad tells me not to act like that. I go ballistic, and start yelling my head off, then walk off in annoyance.

Now here's the newest, coolest part of the experience. Whereas before, whenever I kept my anger under wraps... the bitter, angry feeling just stayed and stayed, then dissipated later.

But this time, I had barely gotten downstairs and into the car when the ire just vanished. And I felt fine. Maybe I just needed to shout.

Yeah. This has been great. All these good things happening... Soc. Sci., everything went great. Science was the only annoying thing. And math. Chinese is good again. Chinese is great.

Things are looking up. Maybe I just needed to have the whole O ordeal for things to start working again.

Love Me Do by the Beatles

Love, love me do
You know I love you
I'll always be true
so please, love me do
oh, love me do

Love, love me do
You know I love you
I'll always be true
so please, love me do
oh, love me do

Someone to love
Somebody new
Someone to love
Someone like you

Love, love me do
You know I love you
I'll always be true
so please, love me do
oh, love me do

Love, love me do
You know I love you
I'll always be true
so please, love me do
oh, love me do
Yeah, love me do
Oh, love me do

Cantonese
POSTED AT 11:54 AM

platinumangel

I've forgotten to add words. So I owe you guys about seven phrases/words whatever, and after that, I'll just add when I feel like it. Here you go, count em, seven:

簡明 gaan2 ming4 = simple and clear; concise

可唔可以講簡明嘅?
ho m ho yi gong gaan ming ge?
Can you say it clearly?

接受 zip3 sau6 = to receive; to accept
我嘅職業唔係一般人可以接受.
ngo ge jik yip m hai yat bun yan ho yi jip sau.
My occupation isn't something normal people can accept

裏邊 leoi5 bin6 = inside
我放咗眼鏡係櫃桶裏邊.
ngo fong zo ngan geung hai gwai tung leoi bin
I put the glasses inside the drawer.

投擲 tau4 zaak6 = to throw (sth. a long distance); to cast; to hurl
你投擲我嘅槍俾佢呀?
nei tau zaak ngo ge coeng bei keuih a?
You threw him my gun???

首先 sau2 sin1 = first
首先去嗰度再返嚟.
sau sin heoi go dou, zoi fan loi.
First, go there, then come back.

一舉兩得 jat1 geoi2 loeng5 dak1 = killing two birds with one stone

對手 deoi3 sau2 = rival; peer

O (hint), things are uncertain
POSTED AT 10:21 AM

platinumangel

Yeah, things are very uncertain.

O, why must things be this way? (HINT)

Hurgh. Anyway, we seem to be fine with each other, and are now blissfully ignoring as I struggle to break free from this possessive crush and O just remains nonchalant.

Hm.

CHARMED!!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST READ!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEX AND PHOEBE GET MARRIED!!!!! AND WE DON'T EVEN SEE THEM MARRY!!!!!!! BUT THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah. So I just ruined season eight for you. MEH!

We had mass, and it consumed double math. I am ECSTATIC!!!!!!!!!!

The adviser of 2F seems to be a real asshole. His name is Cajigal or Cahigal or something. Super low. As in, he begged 2C to lose the intramurals so that his team could win. What a loser.

English: I sang. I Will Be There ala Gary V. If you don't know this person, then you can't possibly be a Filipino.

There was a part where while we were singing, everyone suddenly just paused.. and I was left singing alone... urgh Leigh and Martin!

Then people just started clapping and I felt so embarrassed. AIGH! Never again...

During Lunch, I snuck up on He Lao Shi and i (horror of horrors) heard her speak in Filipino! She was complaining about mass to Bro. Lim. But she was speaking in Filipino! Cos see, apparently, she was pissed off about something and her tirade went like this... "Sobra akong galit dahil yung mass tapos... *something*... kaya sabi ko, e kung ganoon lang pala..." then she suddenly felt people behind her. Now apparently, the fact that I was less than a foot away from Lao Shi and she was just yapping and yapping was fascinating. So a bunch of people appeared, among them Evan, Arvin, Paolo and Henry.

Then she suddenly turned... and saw me a foot away from her. She did a double take and started brandishing her greenslip, while all of us laughed.

Such a great day... but O and I have been dancing far too long. But what can I do?

Anyway... work sucks. Work is really annoying.

I really miss Canada. As in, really. I really, really, really miss Canada. I miss it so much.

I wanna go... I wanna go....... I just wanna be safe again.
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Let Me Introduce Myself by Marion Raven

You got everything that I want
You got him in the palm of your hand
But I know you’ve slept with everyone in his band
Again, again, again

You try to pretend we get along
But pretty little girl, you got it all wrong
I’ve got my eyes on you and I know what’s going
On and on the fights begun

I’m not blind, you see
And you’re not fooling me
You’ve stepped into my territory
Let me introduce myself
Your enemy

He would be shocked if he knew what I found out
The canzonet that you play would get a different sound
You lied about your BC to keep him around
Around, around, around we go

I’m not blind you see
And you’re not fooling me
You’ve stepped into my territory
Let me introduce myself
Your reality

Oh no, what have you
Gotten yourself into?
But to be honest
I don’t give a shit about you
You
You

I’m not blind you see
And you’re not fooling me
You’ve stepped into my territory
Let me introduce myself
Your reality
Your morality

I’m not blind you see
And you’re not fooling me
You’ve stepped into my territory
Let me introduce myself
His fantasy
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盲 maang4 = blind
佢係盲人.
Keuih hai maang yan.
He's a blind person.

Platinum Angel
POSTED AT 12:27 PM

platinumangel

I am Platinum
Silver is my form
But strike me with gold
And I emerge, platinum

I am an Angel
I blanche and falter and am gentle
But I wield the fury of the heavens
And eons of good converge in me

I am Silver
Tempered is my soul
Reflect do I your image
See yourself, and be better for it

I am Good
As an angel unfolds, its wings and its power
I too unfold my ambition and my talent
And I am but the messenger of the message

If the Taishanese in me should fade
If Canada should crumble
If the ones I love should die
I would still be

A Platinum Angel
Silver
Good
God

Platinum Angel

What A Damn Great Day
POSTED AT 01:55 PM

platinumangel

A solidly great day.

For once. Haha!

Okay, I start the morning off listening to Over. Yes. The Lindsay song. Yech. Second time I've gotten addicted to it.

Anyhoo!

Mom suddenly tells me we're going, and I tell her I thought I was excluded. She said no, that A-yi Betty had spoken to me na daw. She hadn't. So whatever, I agree to tag along.

We get going, and are soon out of the house and on the way.

We arrive about seventeen minutes late, and then get started on the whole thing. I am dressed in all-white by the way.

So the monks begin (we're at a Buddhist monastery, i think. But I'm sure we're commemorating Angkong's 49th day of death.), and the things they say... rhythmic. Very nice. Lasts an hour.

We have a break. I text with Jackie. Then we have the second part. Now I don't know why, but this second hour of it was just TORTURE!!! But we give Angkong that send off, have lunch, and leave. We drop Uncle Stanly and Sa-yi Alin and Ahiya Mark off at their house, go to Xavier for Andrew to get something from Ch/Kristina to give to Val for his birthday, then go home.

We rest for a bit, I read the backup that i downloaded from Tabulas, and then Alex and I leave.

Rody and I drop him off at Dr. Leung's, and Rody brings me to Raphie's house. Which I get very very lost on the way to.

We finally make it there after fifty minutes (it was three twenty four when I got there), and several stops to ask for directions, and I go up to see Raphie, Henry and Aldwin--and someone I don't know. Turns out, it's Raphie's brother, Darwin. Yes, the famous Darwin of xanga.com/raphiem fame.

They're watching Friends, and it's an episode about our leading ladies (Phoebe, Rachel and Monica, dur) trying to shush Rachel's baby, but are unsuccessful. Then Monica gives it a hand and does it.

Phoebe's funny.

Friends is funny.

We stop doing that and begin to play Resident Evil 4.

We take a few pictures, have some coke, mostly talk.

It was fun. We played all the way til eight.

Then Raphie's mom got home. Fix the issue with Henry's driver. Play more Resident Evil 4--it rocked. I kept getting scared and instantly hugging whatever it was that I found huggable. A pillow, but in most cases, Aldwin.

With each of us making witty comments and green jokes about everything, the whole thing was super, super fun.

We have dinner, which is great. Simple, but delicious. Raphie's mom has rediscovered speaking Hokkien.

We have our goodbye hugs, and I leave. Aldwin, apparently, doesn't.

So it's a long way home.

I get home, and find an offline message from Lesley (the Aaron Lines fan). OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! HER MOTHER IS A SAINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM BOTHERING MY PARENTS!!!!!!!!!! THEY WILL DELIBERATE AND TELL ME TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!! ELSE I WILL KEEP BOTHERING THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH BLESSED LORD, YOU ARE KIND AND MERCIFUL!!!!!!!!!!! I BOW TO THEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AARON, THANK YOU FOR EXISTING. LESLEY AND PAMELA SMITH, YOU ARE TOO KIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright. This has just been too good a day. I'll go retire and wish my homework away. Night, guys.

Aaron Lines lyrics!!!!!!!!!
POSTED AT 06:27 AM

platinumangel

I never thought I'd be handling Aaron Lines lyrics again for a long time... and yet here I am, putting down Good Liar. It's supposed to be one of the best songs, and I think it applies to my sit with O.

Good Liar by Aaron Lines

It was a pretty good performance
Yesterday out on the street
Maybe they should give me an Emmy or an Oscar
'Cause you didn't suspect a thing
We made small talk on the sidewalk
I even laughed out loud
And I didn't blink an eye when I told you that I'm happy now

I'm a good liar
I had you believing
That I wasn't dying watching you leaving
I'm good at pretending
I stood there unflinching
Baby with my heart on fire
Hey, I'm a good liar

Truth is I've had a lot of practice
I've put on this show before
Just like the day you told me we were history
I was brilliant standing right outside your door
I convinced you and me too
It was gonna be all right
That we'd both be better off, that I would get on with my life

I'm a good liar
I had you believing
That I wasn't dying watching you leaving
I'm good at pretending
I stood there unflinching
Baby with my heart on fire
Hey, I'm a good liar

It's time I came clean
It's time I told the truth
No matter what I say I'm still in love with you
Baby, I'm still in love with you

I'm a good liar
I had you believing
That I wasn't dying watching you leaving
I'm good at pretending
I stood there unflinching
Baby with my heart on fire
Baby, my heart’s on fire
Hey, I'm a good liar

Yeah I'm a good liar

Homework is evil. MegaMall has cool phones. I need the D500 or the E800. Someone save me!

That's Right
POSTED AT 10:04 AM

platinumangel

I didn't make an entry yesterday. Shocking isn't it?

I was staring at the screen... and I blanked.

Life has been extremely tiring and draining and boring these past few weeks. School has become a great, great burden with many assignments and little time for rest and slacking off. I crave the weekend.

The reminiscing and missing of Canada started up again. I just can't help myself.

Furthermore, Samsung has become a real tease. I need those Samsung phones... but I can't have em.

Shoot.

My goodness, I can't believe how much I'm missing the old stuff.

O has also been really confusing, too. Sort of kind, sort of annoying. Haven't talked at all. But I've been missing talking to O and the old friendship. Shoot O. Shoooooooot.

God I'm tired of school. Someone just please stop it.

I'm just getting so tired of the whole thing. The homework... the LTs... the constant tire... I don't wanna keep doing this in Xavier. Maybe if I were in Canada.

Mrs. Ocampo told us a very disturbing story this morning.

You do not serve lesbian to fifteen year old boys at eight in the morning just before Religion class.

It was Ryle's birthday.

I am sleepy now. I don't wanna talk...

But during C.L.E. class, Ms. Espiritu made mention of "nakakalalaki ka", something guys say to each other before fights. Nico makes a comment on gayness and Carlo says "Nakalalaki."

Oh God
POSTED AT 11:37 AM

platinumangel

Canada, come take me away!

I love you, Canada. I love you and I miss you.

WHY????

Why must the universe converge to mar the distance between us with time and strife and miles, leaving me to wallow in the hurt and reminisce of long, carefree days gone by, tasted and taunted by the thought of spending eternity in it and yet so far from grasp?

I love Canada. I love it.

Urgh.

Chinese sucks when you have to study it.

I don't wanna study religion and Chinese history (well Chinese History in Chinese that is), i wanna study the language! Colorful speech! The Idioms was by far the best lesson we had--pretty speech. Intriguing. But what I'd love to study is conversational chinese. That's the one.

I love speaking in Mandarin. I find speaking in Cantonese too hard. I'll finish up my Mandarin in school, at the same time still learning to speak in Cantonese (I actually carried out a full conversation in Cantonse with my grandma! That's BIG BIG BIG points for me!), and then when I'm a master at Mandarin, i'll study Cantonese in Hong Kong.

I've decided to omit Shanghainese from my list, as there's no way for me to learn it, and Hokkien, I'll just speak at home. Learn to speak uber-fluently at home ala Evan.

YES!!!!!!!! THE SITUATION WITH O IS DONE!!!!!!!

Free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHOO!

I feel great now.

Yes!

Now I can focus on Chinese with a clear, clear, clear mind. Thank you, O. I'm fine now.

I am crush free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, well except for this other one whom we shall call COLD.

It's tiny. Wala lang. Anyhoo.... yeah!

Great day. Mom and dad agreed to let me get the CD.

The Aaron Lines CD!!!!!!!!! Oh God, I hope that offer is still open. I hope... i hope...
Listening to: First by Lindsay Lohan

What I Forgot
POSTED AT 10:37 AM

platinumangel

To put here yesterday.

You see, the oddest thing happened. We saw the shaolins (I shan't say who) do some very suggestive things. The shaolin headmaster seemed to be molesting a seven year old child.

With their clothes on. Prolly for the friction.

They got into all these ridiculous positions... it was scary.

And traumatizing, as Raphie, Henry, Aldwin, JV and a host of other people that came and went.

All the while Nicky was standing there, staring at us, knowing that we were thinking what it was he thought we were thinking, and we were all staring at him, pleading, first with our eyes, then with our words, for him to do something.

He just smiled a disturbed smile and shook his finger at us.

Eaaaaaaaaaaagh!

NEVER AGAIN will I hang out there.

Oh, but I saw O again. Twice.

Waved at me a few times. I turned (cos I was eating at the time) and waved later. O's ka-chikkas were beside.

And then later, we passed near the green area.

Hmm.

I think O thinks I am hating or something. I hope not. That's the last thing I'd do to O.

Anyhoo, I had the most interesting chat with Mr. Young and Addison (who I shall call Addy here). We talked about cute things first, and I was telling Mr. Young about O.

I was like, "Um.. gusto ko siya."

Then dumilat yung mata niya and he says, "AND THEN????"

Haha! Yes, the mighty Allen likes someone. *rolling eyes*

So I'm telling him, then Addison comes in and he goes "Oh no!" Haha!

Then we talk about analysis of people's behavior, suicidal, people teasing people in grade school, this person that has issues with other people and wants to kill them that consulted Mr. Young and talked to him about it.

Then we talk some more about religion, God, death, more suicide (as in we were discussing why people would wanna do it, and other circumstances, not actually doing it to ourselves cos... we all passed that stage a looooong time ago.).

Finally, we have to go, and i part with them. Haaay.

Now, Alex is out buying a present for mom and dad, as it's their anniversary today, and doesn't want them to know.

I love Samsung. Charmed has to come back soon.

I need that Aaron Lines CD. I need to get to Canada.

I want a break from love. Which is whyyyyyy....

I am going to send this song out to the person who i think might like me, and is about to wanna be in a relationship with me, and who I really feel for, but I feel is not someone who I could love fully and completely. So, here:

I Love You Goodbye by Nina

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby, that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh, I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh, I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh, I don't wanna leave you
Baby, it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, it’s never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye

POSTED AT 10:54 AM

platinumangel

I just realized--what if I died tomorrow?

If I didn't update today, then the things that I did would be lost for eternity. How long would it be til people found out?

Who would miss me?

Who would care?

Who would go to my funeral?

What if I was a complete and total ass to everyone? What would they say about me in my eulogy? "Here lies Allen. He was an asshole."

What would people think? I'm not kind... people wouldn't like me.

What about the people that I love? What if I didn't get to say goodbye, or I love you? And the people who don't know I love them? What if they would never know? What if I never got to tell them how I felt? What if they felt the same? And the people who love me? If I made an impact on someone's life and I didn't even know it and they didn't get to tell me, or whatever, what if my death would hurt them?

And the lives I could still touch? What if my death resulted in us never getting to know each other? Then what if I was meant to guide them or touch their lives in some way? What if they went astray because I was supposed to help them and they become terrorists or murderers or something?

Or what if I was destined to be saved, and become a world leader? And someone was supposed to touch my life and didn't cos I died? What if i missed the person by a just an hour? Or a minute?

...

Okay... today!

Science period:

Gian: They will sodomize us! RUN!!!
Me: *laughs* EW!
Gian: Do you even know what sodomy is?
Me: Yeah.
Gian: ARGH! DIE, YOU FOUL SCUM! etc...
Me: What the...? Do YOU know what sodomy is?
Gian: *pause*... um... THAT'S NOT THE POINT! THE POINT IS, YOU MUST DIE YOU FOUL .... etc...

HAHAH! LOL!

English:

Mr. Perez: Very good, Mr. Allen Dominic! May I call you Dominic?
Raphie: Say no.
Me: Please don't.

*later*

Mr. Perez: *blabbering* I thought I would leave after one year.
Raphie: And yet here you are.
Mr. Perez: And yet here I am. Because you see, my heart is not in Xavier.
Me: *thinking* Then by all means, LEAVE!!!!!!!!! MR. ARAGON, COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

Lunch:

Me: *walks up to Mr. Aragon* You know what? The most fascinating thing happened. Mr. Perez said his heart wasn't in Xavier...
Mr. Aragon: *seeing where this is leading* Um... *laughs nervously*... well his heart is here now. He found his place here.
Evan: *beside me* Then we'll convince him!
*All English Advanced in the vicinity murmurs "yeah!" to himself*
Me: How do you brainwash someone?
*Henry starts laughing*

Juan/Juan Alberto/Albert/Bert/whatever was sweating extremely profusely during his oral test. Lao Shi was fanning him with paper. I thought it was just cos of that, but it turned out to be something else.

Chinese:

Cai mi yu! (For those of you who can't read pinyin, that's "Guess riddles!")

Mine was: Xiang tang, bu tian, xiang yan, bu xian. Dong tian fei man tian, xia tian kan bu jian. (Like sugar, but not sweet, like salt, but not salty. During winter, it fills the whole sky. During summer, you can't see it)

Well what? SNOW!!!!

Xue3.

I told O today. When I introduced O to Hong-Kong-er this afternoon, it was like giving O up. Yeah, givin O up. I felt kind of sad, but I guess I'm better now. We're talking, so that's a plus. And O can learn Cantonese from someone else now.


I'll see ya later... I gotta chat with Henry and Aldwin.

And to O, good bye.

Now I feel
POSTED AT 12:32 AM

platinumangel

Shallow and weird.

Hmm. Because of the thing that happened with COLD.

Urgh.

Anyway, this song now goes out to COLD. Again. Kapag nakita niya to, makikita rin niya na sobrang inappropriate. And I don't mean everything. Just some parts.

First by Lindsay Lohan (yes, gag now)

Is that someone you used to date
Why's she hanging around here, what's her story
Doesn't she know that it's too late
That the party is over and the car is for me
Why don't you tell her what's been going on
Cause she seems to be dreaming, instead of just leaving
If you don't have the heart to fill her in
Then just step aside and let me lay it on the line

Cause you're mine
And tonight, you don't revolve around her
You're mine
And this time, I'm gonna scream a little louder

Don't wanna be like
Every other girl in the world
Like every other one who wants you
Cause when I see you, something inside me burns
And then I realize, I wanna come first
I wanna come first

You look at me and I just die
It's like heaven arriving in my mind
And I can't believe all this jealousy
I used to be a girl who could let a guy breathe

But you're mine
And tonight, you revolve around me
You're mine
And this time, I'm gonna get a little louder

Don't wanna be like
Every other girl in the world
Like every other one who wants you
Cause when I see you, something inside me burns
And then I realize, I wanna come first
I wanna come first

Don't wanna be like every girl who's tried to get you
I wanna be the one who's never sorry that she met you
I wanna come first, yeah, I wanna come first

Don't wanna be like
Every other girl in the world
Like every other one who wants you
Cause when I see you, something inside me burns
And then I realize, I wanna come first
I wanna come first

Don't wanna be like
Every other girl in the world
Like every other one who wants you
Cause when I see you, something inside me burns
And then I realize, I wanna come first
I wanna come first

Camille: ALLEN! YOU ARE SUCH A GUY!!!!!!!

...

Hold You Now by Ronan Keating (hey, shut up!)

If I could just hold you now
If I could just feel you now
I wouldn't be standing out in the rain
Pounding my heart back through my brain
If I could just hold you now

If I could just get inside
If I could just read your mind
I wouldn't be shaking this hard tonight
Wouldn't be choking back all this pride
If I could just hold you now

How many times can we try to keep this grace of love alive
How many tears can I tell you all the things you need to hear
If I could just hold you now
If I could just feel you now
I wouldn't be standing out in the rain
Pounding my heart back through my brain
If I could just hold you now

Ain't it funny how we had it all
Ain't it funny how it might fall
Guess that we're just a space of time
But it felt so real, it felt so right

If I could just hold you now
If I could just feel you now
I wouldn't be shaking this hard tonight
Wouldn't be choking back all this pride
If I could just hold you now

How many times can we try to keep this grace of love alive
How many tears can I tell you all the things you need to hear
If I could just hold you now
If I could just feel you now
I wouldn't be standing out in the rain
Pounding my heart back through my brain
If I could just hold you now

Woah, if I could just hold you
Woah, yes I should've told you
If I could just hold you now
If I could just feel you now
I wouldn't be standing out in the rain
Pounding my heart back through my brain
If I could just hold you now
-----------------------------------------------
S'what I get for chatting til ten last night. I woke up at eight o five.

Ah, god. Ienne, I heard the two Jonathan Rice songs yesterday: Kiss Me Goodbye and So Sweet. Sorry, not my thing. I'll stick to The Click Five. Hehe...

Hmm...

I feel better today. Crushes are gone. Yeah. This is nice.

Nice feeling. When your heart is completely empty of longing. That Buddhist principle hits the bull's eye.

Dukkha: Suffering
Samudaya: Desire causes suffering
Nirodha: No desire = No suffering
Magga: Follow the eight-fold path to eliminate desire.


um.... scratch that last part.

Anyhoo... you get it right? When I desired, I suffered.

Spending my days pining after O got me so distracted during school time. I got low in my tests, my concentration was weak (daydreaming, yeah?), I got low during oral examinations, etc...

But when I resolved the thing (thanks to the magical powers of YM), everything was just better! I got a 33/35 in my Science LT! That's just never happened before! I'm waiting for Mrs. Vasquez to finish with all those stupid corrections so that I can bring it home, have my parents sign the paper and brag my way around the house.

And when my Math LT comes in on Monday or Wednesday or SOME day, and I bring it home to have it signed, I will show mom just how high i can get when I put my heart to it. I couldn't before because my heart was with O.

Desire gone, suffering gone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah... she loves you yeah, yeah, yeah.... with a love like that, you know you should...

be GLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Saturday morning, by the way. I've got a pleasant bowl of Oreo O's waiting for me. Tabulas is the best.

Arargh!
POSTED AT 12:58 AM

platinumangel

I remember being head-over-heels in love . . .

What a shitty feeling.

I Ain't Goin Nowhere (Martina McBride) was for Y

Fall to Pieces (Avril Lavigne) was for O

I Love You Goodbye (Nina) was for COLD

WAR had like... a generation's worth of songs

Same with X (mostly Extraordinary by Liz Phair)

And Mariah's Breakdown was i guess for each of them, but more so on Y and O

Screwy, screwy love life.

Now I've got I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend (Nina) and Hold You Now (Ronan), and then Goodnight and Go from before... Good Liar for O...

If I'm Not In Love (Faith Hill), Runaway and Here Tonight (by Hale) was for Y

Oh God, and Sand and Water (Beth Nielsen Chapman)...

And Just Want You To Know by The Backstreet Boys...

CITY BOY "SPEECHLESS"----MAJOR ONE FOR Y

And then Long Day Comin' (Hal Ketchum), In Spite of Me (Marion Raven) also for Y

Beautiful Disaster (Live version) for X

Sarah McLachlan: Full of Grace, I Love You and Song For A Winter's Night (for Y)

Barely Breathing (Duncan Sheik) for X

Monday Morning Church by Alan Jackson for all

There, I've bared my whole soul and playlist to you. When you find the lyrics, you still won't know who they are. *wink*

And then I'll end this little tirade with Waiting In Canada by Jann Arden, which is for everyone who'll need me here.
Listening to: Long Goodbye by Ronan Keating

Truthfully by Lisa Loeb
POSTED AT 01:47 AM

platinumangel

This isn't what I like to call flattery,
But I know that I believe that I've found what's true,
That I've found what’s you

Truthfully I
I'm finding finally
Truthfully you
You helped me find at last.
Truthfully we
Are finding out what's true.
And truthfully I am finding out what's you.

Surprise, cause I was flying the plane.
Surprise, cause now I'm smiling again.
Surprise, cause you showed up with your parachute.
Surprise, I'm kind of happy that you showed up

Truthfully I
I'm finding finally
Truthfully you
You helped me find at last.
Truthfully we
Are finding out what's true.
And truthfully I am finding out what's you.

Truthfully, I really can't explain, I'm floating, I'm smiling again
Truthfully, I can't ignore you, cause I've been waiting for you
Truthfully, I'm not desperate, I haven't changed my mind since we first met,
But the last thing that I want to do is to tell you that I'm right for you

Truthfully I
I'm finding finally
Truthfully you
You helped me find at last.
Truthfully we
Are finding out what's true
And truthfully I am finding out what's you

I'm finding finally
Truthfully, I'm finding out what's you
I'm smiling again
Truthfully
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm now listening to Shu Qi and Zhao Wei go...

"Jie! Ni xian zou le, zai you wo!"
"Ni er de ma fan hai bu gou ma? Ba qiang diu gei wo!"

Dad came in and saw it repeat itself again and again and again (the magic of Power DVD) .

He went nuts. The terms "mental torture" and "bonkers" were thrown around a lot.

I'd been looking for Lisa Loeb's song since i was eight. Songs of my childhood.

SO CLOSE ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know who to dedicate the above song to.

Aldwin and I talked all of yesterday.

I miss Jackie and Ienne and Cath and everyone...

I wanna go out on a lakad with Christian, Walter, Jackie, etc...

But school sucks! I don't wanna do Math, Science and C.L.E.....

I wanna waste time.

I don't know what to do for the Epiko in Filipino.

English sucks.

MR. ARAGON!!!!!!!!!! I will rip a line out of the Breeders song:

"Come on, come back to me right now....."

LISA LOEB'S SO DAMN GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Lesley, my fellow Aaron Lines fan, chatted with me... it's all very interesting to chat with her...

Jackie (Jackie Uy, in College in Canada now) is also chatting with me. Wheeeeee...

Music guru. Haha! Hey, cheese_please.

I need a CD. At least Jackie gave me new songs.

She helped me re/discover Truthfully.

Hmm... thank God.

COME BACK!!!!!!!!!
POSTED AT 11:51 AM

platinumangel

Today was the first of two blessed days of no-first-four-subjects.

Math was braindrainy. Annoying.

Double math on Thursday! NOOOOO

Now as you can see from the title, it involved Mr. Aragon.

See, Ms. Castro came in to sub for Mr. Perez directly after the OLSAT tests for a blessed ten minutes. No Mr. Perez in English.

And she tells us: Mr. Aragon says hi.

We all begin cheering like crazed madmen.

I MISS MR. ARAGON'S TEACHING STYLE!!!!!!!!! IT'S WAY COOL!!!!!!!

*pout*

But I got to go back to my old seat by the window kanina. I'm happy. And I got to chat with Gian again about weirdness.

I have a whole buttload of homework to do. Chinese... ugh...

Usually, I'd love Chinese hw, but not when drawing is involved.

Ech.

Oh! And when Lao Shi gave me back my notebook, Patrick had written "ta ma de" on the top... Lao Shi thought I wrote it and crossed it out multiple times with a red pen.

Beneath it was written "Bu hao de! Ni zai xie/shuo yi ci, wo jiu gei ni lu zhi tiao."

Same with "shang ni de" and "qu si".

Grrrrreeeaaat.

Aigh.

Anyhoo, I hope she accepted my Friendster friend request.

Okay, I'm just procrastinating my homework.

I'm glad i've got my journal back. I don't wanna do C.L.E. or Science or Math or Filipino or Chinese.

I wanna talk to Aldwin.

I'll just finish C.L.E. and do Chinese and then leave my research on Science for tomorrow. Math can wait.

Filipino can wait.

Chinese OT and MT must be done asap though.

Another song for a very COLD person. Cold soup (what is soup in Filipino? Note: If you're not Henry or Aldwin, you won't get this).

Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan

The winter here is cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
I haven't seen the sun for weeks
Too long too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Through all the darkness I feel like letting go...

Follow the strength and follow the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love

It’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we say and do
Hurts us all the more
It’s just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly scheme
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Through all the darkness . . . I feel like letting go

Follow the strength
And Follow the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this
Full of grace

I know I can love you much better than this
But, it's better this way . . .

Feeling So Left Out
POSTED AT 10:36 AM

platinumangel

No, I am not turning into one of those sad people who keep muttering about how society has ostracized them.

Not that kind of guy.

I'm left out cos everyone on the Aaron Lines message board has heard all the new songs.

I haven't. I want the new songs. I need the new songs. Who will give me the new songs? I must have them... must...

Homework sucks. It just sucks.

Bothering Lao Shi is a fulfilling experience.

Chinese homework.
Gah.

Science. Gah.

MATH!!! GAH!!!!!!!!

I'll talk to you later.

But I need music. I re-re-re-rediscovered Breakdown ala Mariah. Middle of the week tomorrow. Soooon... soooon...

WHOO!
POSTED AT 09:08 AM

platinumangel

What a great day!

Got my math results back... 26.5 over 30!!! Yeah! Better than usual.

Science... i get to brag about my 33/35...

Chinese--------95 in the oral test! YES!

So what've we got for tomorrow?

The dreaded double Math day.. two quizzes... and homework... and Science... quiz... Chinese... MT... with Ye lao shi... Filipino... quiz... on pokus ng pandiwa...

Strangely, I feel freer than yesterday.

I don't know why...

I guess it was this Chinese oral test that got me hyped. I don't know why I'm not worried sick about tomorrow's MT though. Maybe it's cos she reduced the questions to just eight instead of seventeen.

In the morning, R asked me to print some stuff for him from his flashdrive.

I think/hope he gave it to me without a cap... cos i can't find the cap.

I almost forgot about it... then i was reminded when i checked my pockets. Printed it out, but R was nowhere to be seen at dismissal.

H, V, etc... and I didn't really talk much... Lao Shi and a bunch of us (Neell, Evan, Arvin, Paolo and me) did blather though. Neell found out Lao Shi was Cantonese (she said, by the way, that she would speak to us in Cantonese on the last day of school) and asked her:

"Ni zai na li chan sheng a?"

What he meant to say: Where were you born?
What he did say: Where were you manufactured (as in a robot or a mechanism)?
(And the best part...) Lao Shi's reaction: CHAN SHENG A??? WO SHI YI GE DONG XI MA? YI GE DONG XI YING GAI CHAN SHENG BA???

We all burst out laughing.

Later on, Neell starts getting all scientific about life... Arvin says "Ni shi chan sheng de!" Lao Shi's turn to laugh.

Dismissal:

Found Ted (as in Teodoro Dulay), who grad-ed last year with my brother and now comes back occasionally. This is one of those occasions. Our conversation went like this:

Me: Ted!
Ted: Hello.
Me: What're you doing here?
Ted: Something.
Me: Which is?
Ted: A lot of things.
Me: Which are?
Ted: Things that I'm not allowed to say.
Me: Staffer things?
Ted: Maybe...

Found A. We were supposed to go up to get his ID and other things but he saw a bunch of people (who i assumed are Dazers) (and now seeing Ted there made sense) and went to join them. I just left.

Saw Kenn though.

Hmm... If you're confused by the letter names instead, well, there's a legend to the right, on the tagboard.

Leave a tag! And say what letter you'd like to be! The taken ones are:

A, E, H, J, O, R, V, X, Y and Z.

Truthfully FINALLY got stuck in my head... I'd been waiting for such a great song to fill in that LSS slot. There we go... wheeeeee...

Brown and red flamey thingies.

White jeans.

Practically The Last Day
POSTED AT 12:41 PM

platinumangel

Yeah, so today was almost the last day of what has been a very busy week. I want chocolate.

More specifically, Guylian. I need Belgian Chocolate. Belgian Chocolate good.

The week has been crazy--Chinese and Science and Math and everything crammed into one week. Why, exactly, I am unaware.

Plus, after lunch this morning, Neell jumped off a chair and hit himself on the head on the door frame. The blood shot out of the top of his head, and splattered all over his planner and envelopes.

I got out of Science and saw all the blood, and I was so shocked. I couldn't think of anything else during recess. All the blood.. oh my goodness...

And then Lao Shi passed by and we were all over her, telling her about this and that... it was so scary...

Neell, of course, had been rushed to the infirmary, and then the hospital. He made an appearance at Lunch, and his head ha da large strip of gauze and other some-such bandaging paraphernalia that spread across the top.

At least he's okay.

All the blood... oh my effing god...

YECH!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!

English, we went and had blindfold sessions. Yes, a few of us were blindfolded and we lead them out to the Sacred Heart Garden. We sat there for the rest of English period, but we went back to the classroom ten minutes before time.

And again, Mr. Perez chooses to piss his students off. I explicitly told him not to call me Dominic and yet...

Mr. Perez: What does Francisca see? (talking about the story Two Friends, One World) . . . *no reaction* . . . err . . . *stares around, then eyes land on me* . . . Dominic?

*pause*

Mr. Perez: Dominic? *pause* Dominic?

*Dominic looks up at him*

Dominic: Hm?

Me: *stand* *answer the question*

Stupid annoying life. Have been bothering Mr. Aragon some more too.

Hmm... Lao Shi more than usual. We all have. It's fun.

I have stopped yelling COME BACK to Mr. Aragon. Firstly (yes, I defy Mr. Perez), it's because it's gotten old. Urgh.

Secondly (HAH, TAKE *THAT* MR. PEREZ!!!!!!!), Henry just made the phrase green for me the day before yesterday.

It went COME back.

Yes. Yuck.

Anyhooo... that's the way it is.

Let's see... what else... Chinese! MT kanina! OMG, it was so freakin hard!

I had to talk about the annoying honger that swore at me in Canada! And I couldn't speak in straight Chinese! Kept stumbling over my words! No!

Urgh... i hope Ye lao shi has pity on me.

How come Jacques and Ryle and Charles (Lim?) can speak such fluent Mandarin so confidently whereas I am left stupid and ... stupid???

ARGH! MUST LEARN BETTER CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYHOO I shall now impart to you the lyrics of the Rascall Flatts' Bless The Broken Road. Which, as Mr. Young said, was much better to listen to before all this love stuff started back up again.

And OMG, ANDREW'S LISTENING TO AARON LINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Close, the Westlife song, but still... AARON LINES!!!!!!!!!!!

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I’m just rollin’ home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh and I forgot, Here Tonight was also for Y.

Eventful Fridays
POSTED AT 06:44 AM

platinumangel

This Friday was actually way better and way for eventful than most other school days. And considering today was only half-day, there's a statement hidden in there somewhere (gee, I wonder where) about what kind of classes we have in School.

I got to school super early, as Alex was not with me. (YEAH!) So i made a beeling for our classroom, but on the way, I passed the Teacher's Workroom lobby, which at that exact moment, exploded with cheers and applause. I also saw a red carpet flanked by students and CAT-ers leading around the corner. So I hurriedly brought my stuff down, unpacked them, and then went to see what it was all about. Turns out, they were cheering for the teachers that passed by. On the way to the workroom, they'd applaud and take pictures like some annoying paparazzi in Hollywood.

At one point during the hour i stayed there, just clapping and jeering with them, a teacher walked up the red carpet, the people cheered, and she stepped off the carpet thinking that they were cheering for someone behind her. It was not until Mr. Agulto explained to her what exactly was going on that she stepped back on.

I saw Alex. We bothered each other. Which reminds me, mom now owes me 200... plus today's 100, 300. Wheee.

So we start the actual day off with Math. Leigh and Mark were our teachers, and He Lao Shi, Ms. Yao and Ms. Benito joined us. So we learned the lesson, and throughout, there were stupid jokes (courtesy of Michael Tiu). It fizzled that last eight minutes.

Then Filipino came, and He Lao Shi stayed, but Ms. Yao left. We listened to Bryan (Chua) and Michael this time, and they picked on Mr. Guevarra so many times, I felt really bad for him.

It was almost unfair. But Mr. Guevarra held his own. Everytime someone did something, he'd pop up with a choo-choo-ish voice and yell it out. Like when Justine Figueroa was fixing his math notebook, Mr. Guevarra said "Cher o! May ibang ginagawa!"

Soon, Bryan and Michael asked him to recite the eight rules he gave them. But of course, since he issued them out, he never expected to need to know them himself. Anyhoo... Michael kept mentioning the PARUSA (fine text) at the bottom everytime Mr. Guevarra did something.

And then we were supposed to study Pang-abay. We were supposed to play charades. Mr. Guevarra was first up (yeah, they picked on him a LOT) and was given a piece of paper with the word that he was supposed to act out. Then he suddenly moaned and rested his head on the Computer support thing, laughing.

Then he started pointing to his crotch with both fingers and then, making a fist with the left hand, he formed scissors with his right hand and made cutting motions near the fist.

The answer, it turns out, was "supot". Su-POT. As in uncircumcised. But in actuality, the word was "SU-pot" As in plastic bag.

LOL. And then Michael was saying like "Ikaw naman yung nag-isip na su-POT yung e..."

LOLNESS!

Anyhoo... we continue annoying each other, then people start calling him Supot and Totoy and stuff, and throw paper balls at him. He says something like "Alalahanin niyo lang, magkikita-kita pa rin tayo sa Lunes."

He's gonna exact his revenge. Uh-oh.

So English came! Mrs. Ocampo came in, He Lao Shi and Mr. Guevarra left, and later on, Mr. Lacson comes in. (note: not to be confused with Mr. Lacon, who is the guidance counselor for high 3)

Peterson and Earvin are up. Peterson talks about Korea, and Iraq, and China, and all those other world issues.

They begin teaching IF and WHEN (when to use which. Yes, Xavier is that bad in English.) and the class is really boring, until Peterson writes:

If I were a butterfly, I'd thank the Lord for I could fly.
If I could, I would.
If I were a fuzzy, wuzzy bear, I'd kill myself.

Anyhoo, we continue. After finishing the preliminary discussion, we start making sentences that attack each other. Michael (Yap, not Tiu) is gonna give me the pics... whee...

You'll see them some time...

Anyhoo... we have recess, and then when we go back to the classrooms, we're ushered out to form two lines. It's off to the gym!

The presentation begins with all the departments being introduced, and the teachers passing by and taking their places in the front.

Then we begin. Elijah Adamos and Jewel (?) Castro come up onstage, swap some corny jokes, and the awarding ceremony begins.

After a while, we see an intermission number. Dance X. Dancing. That's about it.

Then the rest of the awarding ceremony, and then two people come up on stage and sing a really bad version of Josh Groban's You Lift Me Up. Then, home, oh home, oh off to home we go.

But Rody isn't there, and I have yet to submit my essay to Mr. Young, as well as the reference papers he gave me.

So I search for him in the Sacred Heart Garden, where he's having lunch, and hand him the stuff before I leave.

It's been a tiring week, and I'm at home now, searching for Charmed spoilers. Nothing interesting yet though.

CHARMED, SEASON 8, COME TO ME NOOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need a good weekend.

ARGH!!!
POSTED AT 11:06 AM

platinumangel

I missed yesterday. Crap.

I basically just spent the day writing the epiko.

Anyway: Alex's party:

People got drunk. Someone threw up. Jackie came, we talked about sign language. She gave me the DVD of Advent Children. I took my brother's pictures. I went to sleep.

That's it. No, really. No, REALLY. NO, AS IN *REALLY*

Anyway, today: Stupid day. That Epiko I wrote didn't need to be written.

Crammed Math and the Joy Luck Club and Chinese. All the quizzes were moved to various days within the week. SHIT!!!

I am so tired. I had a haircut. A lot of people are asking if my hair is dyed. It's not. It's just brown and unnatural.

Cheh.

HAH!

Get Over Me by Marion Raven

You tell me now, I'll tell you never
You gotta learn everything good has got to end
We can't go on like this together
No romance, nothing if we can't be friends
Don't be low, let it flow
Cos you still got a whole life to go

Get out, get off, get over me baby
Driving you around, spending time, been driving me crazy
Dig in, begin to live while I should be
I know you're gonna be around
So baby let go tonight

You say you laugh real false around me
I kick you out of orbit into a new galaxy
(Galaxy)
No more responsibility
Let's go out and have toast to being free
Don't be low, let it flow
Cos you still got a whole life to go

Get out, get off, get over me baby
Driving you around, spending time, been driving me crazy
Dig in, begin to live while I should be
I know you're gonna be around
So baby let go tonight

Your head and mine want a sweet duet
I love every man who got no regrets
But don't be down cos it's over boy
Live is here to enjoy
(Get off, get out)
Don’t be low, let it flow
Cos you still got a whole life to go

Chorus (2x)

Get out, get off, get over me baby
(Get off, get out)
Driving you around, spending time, been driving me crazy
Dig in, begin to live while I should be
I know you're gonna be around
So baby let go tonight . . .

It's seriously a very nice song.

You Know What?
POSTED AT 10:53 AM

platinumangel

There is no point to this.

All of this.

School, studying, life.

I'm getting sick of it. Teachers have to do something to make school different--even for just a week.

At least we get rid of Mr. Perez tomorrow. But then again, since Mr. Aragon ain't comin' back, there ain't no difference.

God, why am I being so nihilistic?

Shit. Now Q's avoiding *. This is just bad and wrong.

And I am not in the best mood to help him. Oh God, why do I have to be nihilistic on the stupid days???

This sucks. Sucky day. Hordes of dragonflies swarmed the school a while ago--forshadowing of heavy rains, I hope.

Now ripping Advent Children to the computer.

I am really getting sick of school. This is getting annoying. Lao Shi won't teach me any Cantonese, and Chinese has been rather lame recently.

I find that I feel none of the same gusto I had for Chinese before. Maybe because the lessons are becoming dull.

English is getting dumber too--what was once a fun subjects has deteriorated under the expert hand of Mr. Perez.

Filipino now begins to drag--Brother Haw makes the mistake of focusing on a certain group of people for too long, and leaving the others to do their own thing. At least we're quiet and we learn.

This new haircut sucks.

Science--no Mrs. Vasquez, so that's a plus.

Math--no Math today, so that means I have homework to do.

I just remembered--ugh... so many problems.

English--a quiz, and then that spelling thing. Do not want to do homework.

I dream again of Canada. The mere utterance of the word is music to these ears of mine.

Food. The food is yellow. Yellow rice... with clam thingies. I think they're called tahong, or takong. Or something.

I wanna watch Advent Children now--Jackie was right. Very nice.

Still sick of school. When will that semestral break come??? Oh. Right. 32 days, as the cold-hard-fact-y reminder on the board said.

90 til Christmas. I am getting extremely sick of going to school. At least I've got my friends.

And for what I can't say to * right now, here:

You've been hurt too many times. I've told you time and again to forget about Q. If you feel the need to continue to pine after Q, that's totally your decision. But I am, as of now, totally against it.

GOD
POSTED AT 01:19 PM

platinumangel

DAMMIT. YOU CAN SHUT ME OUT, BUT YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM REACHING OUT.

YOU CAN TELL ME NO, BUT I'M STILL GONNA KEEP TRYING.

I PROMISED YOU I'D SAVE YOU. I'M NOT ABOUT TO BREAK THAT PROMISE.

When I'm Tired
POSTED AT 12:23 PM

platinumangel

I just feel the urge to listen to great music.

Fortunately for me, such a thing is within my reach.

It comes in the form of Don McLean's ever-beautiful Castles In The Air.

I Love This Song.

Wheeee.

All the mind's doing--games it enjoys playing with your consciousness.

Looks like *'s issues with Q are over. Well, anyway... things aren't the same.

And still, so cynical.

Ah, but the burn of the heart, like the burn of a candle.

Charmed spoilers are so good.

Homework sucks. Big time.

Castles In The Air by Don McLean

And if she asks you why you can tell her that I told you
That I'm tired of Castles in the Air
I've got a dream I want the world to share an' castle walls
Just leave me to despair

Hills of forest green where the mountains touch the sky
A dream come true, I'll live there 'til I die
I'm asking you, to say my last goodbye
The love we knew, ain't worth another try

Save me from all the trouble and the pain
I know I'm weak but I can't face that girl again
Tell her the reasons why I can't remain
Perhaps she'll understand if you tell it to her plain

Oh, but how can words express the feel of sunlight
In the morning in the hills away from city strife
I need a country woman for my wife
I'm city born but I love the country life

For I will not be part of her Cocktail-Generation Partner's Waltz,
Devoid of all romance
The music plays and everyone must dance
I'm bowing out, I need a second chance

Save me from all the trouble and the pain
I know I'm weak but I can't face that girl again
Tell her the reasons why I can't remain
Perhaps she'll understand if you tell it to her plain

And if she asks you why you can tell her that I told you
That I'm tired of Castles in the Air
I've got a dream I want the world to share an' castle walls
Just leave me to despair

All This Love
POSTED AT 02:39 PM

platinumangel

Where I'd usually be damning whichever artist's song has bitten me with the love bug this time, I'm actually quite thankful that Andy Lau exists. Kakaiba talaga yung mga love-songs niya.

If I wasn't so lazy, I'd translate these lyrics myself. But I am. So here:

Hen Xin De Yi Ke (a lesson for a ruthless heart) by Andy Lau

爱一个人可以不知道为什么
我们原来不是代表你我两个
一路沉默一路难过
一路就好像在玩火

恨一个人是一种痛苦的解脱
忘不忘掉早已经不是属于我说
爱不爱我你要不要我
在未来我应该怎么做

一段感情把两人上锁不要分开的一刻
看你如此的坎坷再没有快乐
站在你的面前去练习情绪的平和
结束后请永远忘了我

一段感情就这样封锁回到黑白的生活
早知如此的结果我一拖再拖
不负责任要你去上了狠心的一课
我脆弱我真的无话可说

So there you have it. Song of the moment. I failed Math, and English and Soc. Sci. I am sick of school.

PSATs sound annoying. I have 12 pages worth of reviewer and it's past my bedtime.

I do not want to do homework. I want the second quarter to end. I do not like Mr. Perez's teaching style. Mr. Aragon might stage a comeback. Ms. Natonton finally gives us a lesson that I can relate to with full heart--Opium wars.

Thank God. Well, I better get some sleep. I need to rise early tomorrow to do homework before we do the Pua Tiong Chiu.

Nighty.

I WAS MENTIONED!!!
POSTED AT 11:24 PM

platinumangel

This is great! People remember EVERYBODY!!!! Aaron and his fans, the fans and the other fans, then Aaron and these fans that haven't met him...

They even mentioned me (Pam and Lesley! Whooo!) in the Fan Club Chat with Aaron that I wasn't able to attend last/the other night:

Brenda: just sent a cd to Germany!
Sarah: Germany? wow that’s cool
Beth: that's awesome Brenda!
Aaron: How did the Germany guy hear about me Brenda
Brenda: I don't know - just got the order from the site


Pam_OS: I just sent one to the Philippines
Pam_ OS: Aaron, Allen from the Philippines heard your music on a trip to Canada, lesley explained that after I was home
Aaron: What's he doing in the Philippines
Pam_OS: I believe he is a student. He's younger than Lesley
Lesley: Allen's a student in the Philippines who was on a trip with his family to BC when he heard your music


Word eh?

Rocking!

And coincidentally missing Aaron music and writing that fic. Doing both now. Wheee! I can't ace another daaay . . . and i don't care who's to blame. If this is what it takes, I'll be the one to break--I'm not givin' up . . .