Entries for May, 2005
May 2nd, 2005
Nutty obsession. POSTED AT 06:15 AM Soon, a helper would arrive, and upon finding the house in a such a mild state of disarray, would agree to join our convoluted household where nothing is fun. Everything has been cleared up, and seventeen (working on the eighteenth) garbage bags have been removed from the house, all stuff from years past. I didn't even know we could fit that much into our house. And when i say garbage bags, i mean to the brim of. You couldn't even close them any more. And that does not include the six 24" by 30" boxes we threw away and four or five bags that we no longer used. And that STILL doesn't include the number of books we donated to school, Uncle Ernest and Jacob. So if you're thinking our house could double as a warehouse--it's not. It's bigger. I found several Gilmore Girls scripts (heck, all!) on Twiz TV's official site. (Guess what it is?) Been laughing the entire three days. Can't stop. Seriously. Too funny. Also, have been drowning myself in Aaron Lines, coming up with a full-five arsenal of songs to just blow me away again and again. I haven't gotten sick of them yet, even after playing them over and over since Canada. The seventh day of. It goes: Turn It Up (Jaka and Cath like this too) Waitin' On The Wonderful (If you're clueless, browse the previous entries. You'll find much blather on this song. And check Friendster.) I Can Read Your Heart (This was just so cool.) I Can't Live Without Your Love (Browse the entries, m-dear... keep browsing) Living Out Loud (I get the color blue in my head everytime i hear this song. It's so nice.) ICLWYL right now. Anyway, nothing has been happening, and i am dreading work tomorrow. This sucks. Well, that's all for this entry. But you have to get Gilmore Girls scripts. Jackie and Cath are so sick of that shtick. 1 freed the words
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May 3rd, 2005
I hate making titles for entries. POSTED AT 02:36 AM I'd put them after i type the entry but... it just feels wrong. Anyway, i am wondering how Aaron Lines came up with the song I Can't Live Without Your Love. I play it on the iPod everytime i go to sleep and i feel... happy. And the lyrics, my God. They are so touching. Even if you didn't break up with someone and was still hopelessly lost in their gayumas, you would still love this song. Aaron's take on ICLWYL: "Troy [Verges, if you don't know him] and I were roommates when we wrote this song. We were watching TV one night and something came on that made us think about the girls we were dating at the time. We were both on the verge of breaking up and it was a hard time for both of us. Guys don’t usually talk about that kind of stuff with each other, so being songwriters, we decided to write a song instead. It’s about being in that space where you think “I can live without everything else, but I don’t know if I can live without your love." I don't know. It's just a reeaaallly nice song. Going to pick Angin up from the airport at eleven (remnants of that Canada trip... haaaaaay . . .) and now chatting with Jack and Chris. Jack left. Anyway, I remember... Here, read this. I sent this to Jackie. * AARON LINES' SINGLE TOUCHING ANOREXICS AND BULIMICS Aaron Lines tells us that his hit single, "You Can't Hide Beautiful," has generated a lot of email from the people it is touching, including the staff at one hospital that uses it in a very special way. "They're using this song, typing out the lyrics of the song and sending them to to the girls in an eating disorders hospital treating anorexia, bulimia up in Canada," Aaron explains. "The staff at the hospital would send the lyrics home with the women to remind them that it's not always about looking good. That's just the coolest thing that's happened to me not only in music but my life." Jackie's reaction: Jackie: ............ Jackie: what has that got to do with me???!!!!!!!!!!!! Me: what do you think?????? I know, i should be hating myself for laughing at the anorexics and bulimics, and you know, a twang of immense sympathy (empathy for Jackie) shot through me and wound around me. But, still, an Aaron Lines song for a correctional facility? Okay, i don't wanna laugh about that. Go, Aaron! Okay, i while back, some little girls on the street were trying to sell sampaguitas to us, and my mom was clearly trying to convince herself not to by looking away. The pity she felt was admirable. But i felt nothing. i don't know if it's just because i'm a heartless freak, or a cold blooded sadist, or that i could shoot someone in the head if i wanted to without my conscience bugging me, and that i could inflict torture and mass murder on unsuspecting criminals and laugh about it on my way to Jollibee, but i couldn't feel the pity that was crystal clear on my mom's face. In the end, she ended up buying the sampaguitas. Two sets of sampaguitas. My brother was reprimanding me for being so apathetic and detached. I need a heart daw. Well maybe I do. But maybe i don't. Yes, I'm being very cryptic, but some day, you will realize that being a heartless conniving with blood so cold, germs can't exist in it, can have its advantages. I don't think mom'll let me touch a knife ever again. |
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May 3rd, 2005
I Need To Cry. POSTED AT 10:03 AM It was all cool, building up this kind of mysterious tension. There's him and all the stuff around the house that reminded him of her, which intensifies the pain of having her leave him, knowing that she isn't there. That he can't hold her and tell her he loves her and reassure her of his feelings and laugh on movie nights and do all the couple-y stuff that couples are supposed to do. And there's a scene where he's playing the keys to thepiano, and it says, "When I sit at your piano, i can almost hear those hymns. The keys are just collecting dust, but i can't close the lid." It's so sad, you know? That he can't let go of her, and closing the piano's lid, which i'm guessing is one of her fav instruments, if it reminds him of her that much that he has to sit at it and play again and again, he would be forgetting her, or turning his back on her or something. Then the scene at the stairs where he's in her arms, head on her lap, and he's happy, and her image just fades away and he's alone, in such a sad position. I swear, even from the video, the house felt empty. And then the preacher who i think is a priest (not a reverend) comes by and tries to communicate with him, tries to tell him it's not the end of the world, and that Jesus loved him even through this immense hurt that he was feeling. And he can't even open the door--he just sits there, shrouded in grief. Finally, the priest leaves. There's another illusion that appears, he's running down the stairs, chasing her, and then she just disappears, and he realizes that she's totally gone. She isn't there. And the feeling of being left and alone just crushes him as the full realization hits him. And then, not being able to take it, he dashes out of the house, taking it to the Church's doors, closed on a Monday morning, and bangs on them, as if screaming, "Why, God? Why? Why would you let this happen to me?" Finally, in desperation, he runs away from the Church and into the graveyard beside it, Bible in hand, searching for the spot where his love was buried, then throwing himself down at the space before the tombstone, as if lying next to her, and just staying close, not wanting to let go. And it's beautiful. For those of you who are clueless to the psychoblather above, here's the lyrics of the song, and a link to a place where you can view Monday Morning Church: http://www.cmt.com/artists/az/jackson_alan/artist.jhtml You left your bible on the dresser So I put it in the drawer 'Cause I can't seem to talk to God Without yelling anymore. When I sit at your piano, I can almost hear those hymns The keys are just collecting dust But I can't close the lid. You left my heart as empty As a Monday morning church It used to be so full of faith And now it only hurts. And I can hear the devil whisper, ''Things are only getting worse.'' You left my heart as empty As a Monday morning church. The preacher came by Sunday Said he missed me at the service He told me Jesus loves me But I'm not sure I deserve it. 'Cause the faithful man that you loved Is nowhere to be found Since they took all that he beleived And laid it in the ground. Chorus Well, I still believe in Heaven And I'm sure you've made it there But as for me without your love, girl I dont have a prayer. Chorus You left your bible on the dresser So I put it in the drawer... |
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May 4th, 2005
Something about Gilmore POSTED AT 05:37 AM Sookie makes Michel say "May Destiny's Child break up if I count the blueberries." See Michel only eats twelve blueberries and refuses to eat anything more. Sookie makes him not count the blueberries in the pie and just eat it. Michel: Pick another group. Sookie: Nope. Michel: I hate you! Hate you! And years later? Destiny's Child breaks up. Well, they regrouped, but still, they broke up! And then, look what else happens. RORY: Get back to the gossip, please. LORELAI: Oh yeah. Okay. So, guess who’s in the process of breaking up? RORY: Brad and Jen? LORELAI: Bite your tongue. And what happens two years later? They break up. Is this just me or is there some kind of trend here? Maybe the WB has some kind of fortunetellers that predict what happens when and surreptitiously insert it as a joke in a Gilmore Girls script, all innocent and seemingly impossible. And then, it happens. I shudder to think of them inserting some kind of Marcos-rising-from-the-dead joke in their script. I shudder and dread. |
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May 4th, 2005
I Freaking Miss Canada already. POSTED AT 11:25 PM I wake up today feeling brainless from early morning blah. And then, i stare at my phone and feel the need to do something with it. So i open it and browse through the pictures. Normal, Philippine stuff. Browse deeper back, to that place that i've been convincing myself not to look at because i know it'd make me miss Canada. But I just wouldn't listen to myself. So i think, and reminisce, and find myself missing Canada already. Every shot of Stanley Park, a vivid sunset, of Aku Jojo and Uncle Jake, of the Boedel Conservatory, or that one shotof the backdrop of the Salmon Hatchery... I don't think i can live without it. Shit. Not even the videos of Rach and Court in my cell and my Aaron Lines CD are enough to sate my longing for that place. They only serve as a constant reminder of what I can't have yet. It isn't fair that it's dangled in front of me again and i just can't grasp it. I want Canada, and i will have it. But not now. I think when I hit Xavier again, i'm going to sober and detached, just thinking about Canada that everyone'll wonder what happened to the quirky, sarcastic Allen. One year. Actually, eleven months. And I'm there. Completely. So, i've found a new song to sweep me off to the Canada of my imagination--a place where every trip to Superstore, every crash at Rachel and Courtney's, every bite of a Chicken Burger from A&W, every fresh Canadian morning i woke into, every Aaron Lines video i saw . . . it's all there. Well, this song's called Free, by Brad Johner. And I watched you leaving A silhouette of all the times we shared And there's no reason For you to turn around and come back here I guess I knew that You'd grow up to be the woman that you are But now that you're leaving I never thought the day would come so soon But you gotta be free To walk down the path of uncertainty You gotta believe yeah That you're gonna make it yeah You gotta be free To take the chances that you need to take You gotta believe yeah That you're gonna make it yeah I thought I saw you Smilin at me from a billboard sign I guess I'm lookin just a little too hard And I thought I heard you Singin to me from the broadway stage And you were a queen there who finally found her star I can't deny that you're a dreamer I watched you spread your wings and fly away forever But when you said goodbye I knew That you gotta be free To walk down the path of uncertainty You gotta believe yeah That you're gonna make it yeah You gotta be free To take the chances that you need to take You gotta believe yeah That you're gonna make it yeah I still remember when I looked into your baby blue eyes I remember thinking that you can be what you want to be Thanks for all your help dad I understand why you're so sad But there's a world out there for me so I must be on my way You gotta be free To walk down the path of uncertainty You gotta believe yeah That you're gonna make it You got to be free [Walk down the path of uncertainty] And I hope you're still believing [You just got to believe] That you're gonna make it [That you're gonna make it] Cause I watched you leavin And I knew that you just got to be free Yeah The start's shaky, but it's a beautiful song. |
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May 5th, 2005
People. POSTED AT 02:50 AM 19th of May, 1980 Drew Fuller 14th of November, 1972 Josh Duhamel 24th of December, 1974 Ryan Seacrest (if anyone knows, please share) Edward Atterton 4th of January, 1976 Gabriel Aubry 23rd of August, 1960 Christopher Potter February 29, 1972 Antonio Sabato, Jr. November 17, 1977 Aaron Lines ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Got The Feelin’ by Five Na na na na na nah Na na na na na nah(x4) Here we go again with the beats We got you heads bumping, now you're jumping from your seats If this is what you're wanting over there Throw your hands up in the air Because you know we bring the sounds so unique Now everybody's moving, everybody's grooving Getting down with Five when we come your way Move it to the left now you shake it to the right Because you know we gotta keep this party Pumping through the night Check me out now Yo! 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 I'm on the microphone, got you hot like the sun So a 1, 2, 3, now I'm waiting in the 4 Kick down the door and turn it up a little more If you got the feelin', jump to the ceiling Ah we're getting down tonight 1 if you gonna, 2 if you wanna, 3 cos everything's alright If you got the feelin', less of the dreaming Ah, we're getting down tonight It's just round the corner, tell me if you wanna 5 will make you feel alright Ah, move it at the back to the track We got it going on we're the leaders of the pack Now if you feel alright, hold it tight See, we wanna carry on cos we gonna take it through until the dawn Now everybody's moving, everybody's grooving Getting down with 5 when we come your way So raise up your arms if we drop it on the 1 You see we're gonna carry on because the fun has just begun Check us out now! Yo! 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 I'm on the microphone, got you hot like the sun So a 1, 2, 3, now I'm waiting in the 4 Kick down the door and turn it up a little more If you got the feelin', jump to the ceiling Ah we're getting down tonight 1 if you gonna, 2 if you wanna, 3 cos everything's alright If you got the feelin', less of the dreaming Ah, we're getting down tonight It's just round the corner, tell me if you wanna 5 will make you feel alright Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Na na na na na nah Na na na na na na na nah (x4) If you got the feelin', jump to the ceiling Ah we're getting down tonight 1 if you gonna, 2 if you wanna, 3 cos everything's alright If you got the feelin', less of the dreaming Ah, we're getting down tonight It's just round the corner, tell me if you wanna 5 will make you feel alright ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another gay dream (yep. I wonder if it means anything...) and here's how it happened: First part: Evening. Involves Justin Timberlake with that hat from the Signs video and a tall, mini-skirted blonde. Plus, some dude from my batch in school, who the face of, i cannot remember. Drat. So, batchmate ends up kissing Justin. As in full-on, french-kissing here. Kiss, kiss, kiss. In a shower. Yes. But without water, and their clothes are all on. Anyway, the stumble out of the said shower, and end up directly in the living room. Still lip-locked. And then the girl appears. And that's how one half of the dream ends. Then i have this sort of filler dream that i can't remember, but it provides transition. The next dream is about me and Andrew and this other troupe of people who are visiting a prison. Mid morning. Too-bright sunshine streaming throughout the dream. We walk in from the outside, and i don't know what it reminds me of, but as we enter, there's this large square room and a large fence or barbed wire of some sort that blocks the prisoners (who i think are eating within the fenced area) and the visitors. Okay, i turn and look outside, see Andrew still there, talking with one. It reminds me of him talking about the guy that he visited in Bilibid that had killed four guys in a brawl and bought a cigar from. That cigar is right in front of me, unopened. And then, i wake up. Comprehend, anyone? |
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May 6th, 2005
One Very Long Gimmick Day POSTED AT 09:17 AM No disturbing dream last night. Just black. Have breakfast, go to office, work, etc... Wait in the office with my trusty iPod until about eleven fifty. I text mom about coming back from wherever because there was no driver, and she arrives, finally. Rush downstairs, get in the car and begin to head on home, but realize there are no keys, so i stop the driver and run back upstairs, steal the keys from mom and go back down, go home, open the house door, finish all accounts and run back to leave. We leave at eleven ten. Arrive eleven seventeen. Just as i am about to get out of the car, Jackie texts that she's fifteen minutes early. I reply "Ditto." Enter mall and head to Fully Booked, where Jackie and Christian are inspecting I Spy books. Could the world be any more bored? Linger for a bit and go walk around, Christian doing his Dance Dance Revolution thing and Jackie and I watching in awe. As usual. I tell Jackie that I'll look for a place to eat, and she practically pushes me away from Power Station with her. No idea why. We look for places, and Christian appears as we go down the escalator. Walk around some more and realize i didn't get cash from mom. Oh shit. Lunch was my treat pa naman. Decide on Jollibee and order, sit, eat and leave. End up in the movie house and see... Dominique! Dulay. Yes, Ted's sister. So, we blather, and Jackie refuses to eat her fries. She throws it (waste...) and we go into the movie with popped corn and water. Watch Kingdom of Heaven, which was really bloody at the start, so much so that Jackie and Christian kept moaning, and wincing, and covering their eyes. I thought it was kind of cool. So I'm a deranged (yes, Swim_Bud, deranged...) psychopath! Sue me! The end was a big disappointment. Big, big disappointment. No sooner have we exited when Christian tells us that Katan, Mark and two other cousins of hers decide on watching Guess Who. So Jackie and Christian have seen it thrice.... Ayun. Nanood kami. Jackie leaves early and, four thirty, so do i. And there was only an hour left. Dang. It seemed even better than Kingdom of Heaven. Run to the car (see Dom and Chris on the way) and get in, get home, type this. This was just a very, very, very long day. Who knows, it might be longer. A Kiss Is Worth A Thousand Words is now playing and it's stuck in my head. I love it. Jackie's made progress on the Drew fic. She's written the first three lines. Yes, LINES. Ambiguous: Lines as in Aaron Lines. And lines as in she's only written THREE OF THEM!!!!!!!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- She said, I don't even know you anymore We're barely friends, we used to be lovers I remember when I was all that you were living for Now, we're just living in this house like strangers I tried to give to you everything I thought you ever wanted To make this house a home You still lay next to me, but all I feel is alone How can I make you see That a kiss is worth a thousand words A thousand love songs and a thousand roses Can't change the way I miss being reassured When you'd hold me close, look into my eyes and press your lips to mine If you really wanna tell me that you love me Want your feelings to be heard A kiss is worth a thousand words He just sat there on the couch looking surprised He couldn't believe what he was hearing It was like she'd opened up his heart and reached inside And told him everything that he was feeling He said, I tried to give to you everything I thought you ever wanted Been working day and night I felt this distance too, but I never knew just what to say To make it right Till you said a kiss is worth a thousand words A thousand love songs and a thousand roses Can't change the way I miss being reassured When you'd hold me close, look into my eyes and press your lips to mine If you really wanna tell me that you love me Want your feelings to be heard A kiss is worth a thousand words In the middle of the night, they finally got it right When they both closed their eyes and talked for hours He told her that he loved her, that he couldn't live without her But not a single heart was broken, not a single word was spoken Ooh...yeah, just one kiss One single kiss Whoa, a kiss is worth a thousand words A thousand love songs and a thousand roses Can't change the way I miss being reassured When you'd hold me close, look into my eyes and press your lips to mind If you really wanna tell me that you love me Want your feelings to be heard Yeah, if you really wanna tell someone you love 'em Want your feelings to be heard A kiss is worth a thousand words Listening to: A Kiss Is Worth A Thousand Words |
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May 6th, 2005
Lost POSTED AT 09:31 AM Where am I, what was that Made my heart beat so fast And I'm somewhere now that I've never been So far from the world I was living in Baby, I'm lost, but I'm not afraid I know you're the one to show me the way Lost in your arms, lost in your love Girl, since I found you, when I'm around you, I'm lost I've come so far, I can't turn back There was no star, there was no map Well, I followed you to this place Now it's too late, standing here face to face Baby, I'm lost, but I'm not afraid I know you're the one to show me the way Lost in your arms, lost in your love Girl, since I found you, when I'm around you, I'm lost It just seems so right to be holding you tight I never thought it could feel so good to be lost Lost in your arms, lost in your love Girl, since I found you, when I'm around you, I'm lost Well, I'm not afraid I know you're the one to show me the way Lost in your arms, lost in your love Girl, since I found you, when I'm around you, I'm lost Baby, I'm lost ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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May 6th, 2005
Why does my life revolve around drama? POSTED AT 02:12 PM I'm getting kind of sick of it actually. The whole "never-ending-drama" ness of it all. I need some cosmic strings pulled. This sucks. I'm so not gonna name the number of ordeals i've had to go through, but i will tell you--it isn't something you can count on your fingers. Urgh... i hate being a prime character in these annoying real-life dramas. I hate it. Oh well. That's just me, i guess. |
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May 8th, 2005
The Secret To Gimmick-Perfect Hair POSTED AT 02:43 AM Hay nako. That Destiny's Child song still haunts me. All shiny and bright and jolly. Anyway, the aforementioned secret is (for guys only): 1. After bathing, ensure hair is dry. As in, it's not even moist. Gets? Usu. 30 - 45 mins. after bathing. 2. Then, stand in front of electric fan (NOT BLOW DRYER) and have it blow into your hair for about three minutes. Four minutes is okay, but it's pushing it. 3. Style to perfection. Without gel, cos if you're using gel anyway, why bother fanning it? So there. The Days of Uncertainty technically ended yesterday, when the guard called us up and told us that Gina had come back. We've got a maid again. Yup. But in actuality, it ended so long ago. I had long since gotten over the no-maids thing. As of today, i officially mark the days of Scarred Reprieve. Yeah, so not having a maid wasn't really an acutal "scar". But it did leave me with the stigma of self-survival, however small the beginning. Yes, more psychoblather from yours truly. Appreciate your maids, people. They might not last. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This morning, i was stricken with the overwhelming need to listen to Turn It Up. So i got the iPod and listened. [img:611597] This is me doing the electric fan portion of gimmick-perfecting my hair. I actually looked like this. Ugh. |
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May 9th, 2005
Finally, a non-gay dream! POSTED AT 03:00 AM It started with me in Xavier. Yeah, it's that disturbing. So, one of the grade school or high school faculty and staff (ah, yes, so specific. Although i do think it was a student prefect. Mr. Mutuc, perhaps? Ionno... Maybe Mr. Santiago.) is standing somewhere in the school, and lecturing me about Crystal C. Apparently, Xavier has some kind of underground thing going on, and they manufacture and refine several drugs and minerals, such as Crystal C., which is sulfuric and stuff. Anyway, he tells me about Crystal Meth-soemthing, i can't remember. The only reason I could remember the Crystal Meth-part is that it's a drug, but in my dream, it's not, because it has several letters after. Anyway, he's lecturing me on and on and then suddenly, the alarm in my phone wakes me up (CRAP!!!!!!!). Six o' clock. Press the "off" button and go back to sleep. I resume the dream (is that cool or what?????) and find myself in the MPH, near the part where there're stairs, just below the platform, but instead of the stairs, it's a large ramp going up (if you're standing on the lower ground, of course) and i'm listening blankly (it looks like that drug talk we had four years ago all over again, except it's in the MPH not the MPC). Then i suddenly look to my left, and for some reason, turn around (i'm sitting down on the ground), and i see... Guess who? AARON LINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was just hysterical . . . Yeah, except here, he has a beer belly (now i KNOW he doesn't have one...) and he's wearing a white shirt.... it's like thick wool except with vertical lines across it. And then jeans. Is that bad or what??? Anyway, his hair is short (like in Waitin' On The Wonderful) and i turn to him and i just... start babbling. I tell him all the stuff that i'd always wanted to tell non-dream Aaron, about how i much i just loved Waitin' On The Wonderful, and how i want his new album, and i ask him about when it's coming out, and he just says these really cryptic stuff. It's like, "Oh, you know, i'm not really sure, there's only some speculation, and *blah, blah, blah*" And i keep pressing him for it, but he just says the same thing. So, i during my little tirade with him, everyone gets up and leaves, and when i'm about to ask him how to sing the "starting right now" line in Living Out Loud (because it has this thing with the voice that's really complicated to imitate), he tells me "I think we've gotta go. Everyone's left already, see?" and i look around and realize he's right, and when we get up and leave the MPH, we're suddenly flashed to the area in the grade school building, where the elevator is, and that's where Arbie and I used to hang out after school and chatter, and there're stairs there, and that's the same level of the grade seven classrooms, and ayun. That's enough for me to remember it by when i read this again in the future. So anyway, we're flashed there, except the corner where we turn around from the elevator is covered with a white layer, and when we DO turn around it, there's lots of people, and before i can talk to him anymore, he disappears and i'm ushered to this room. I'm looking for him so that i can take out my cell and take a picture (Hey, you can't blame me) but suddenly, Mr. Abadam says "No cellphones nga eh." for some reason, i actually follow him and walk my way back to the classroom to deposit my cellphone. Why, i had no idea. Anyway, as i'm walking, i suddenly forget about depositing my cellphone and start walking around aimlessly, passing the grade seven corridor and walk into the hallway, but instead of being dark, it's bright and bustling with activity. But it's still a bit murky, so i come closer and i see that what's up ahead looks like the outside of the teacher's workroom in HS. Except that instead of an actual teacher's workroom, it's an elevator and an opening. One fleeting thought of getting back to Mr. Abadam, that room and Aaron Lines passes my mind and then just vaporizes. I walk toward the elevator, making out five sets of characters: 1 2 3 Crystal Crystal C. Hmm... i walk into it along with a bunch of other teachers and press Crystal C. Here, i'm reminded of that elevator i rode in Canada at the FutureShop across Sears where mom shopped. It had two parking lots beneath it. Anyway, i arrive at Crystal, where everyone gets off, and i suddenly do too, and it looks like the inside of our bodega before we rented it out. hmm... haven't been there in years. It's sealed off now. I walk back in, and the lady outside at Crystal does too. We descend to Crystal C. and before the elevator opens, the entire contraption moves forward, and seats materialize behind the two of us so we can sit. We do, and the scratched and damaged windshield of the elevator that i somehow know is actually a snake like train, yellow on the outside, and that we're in the front coach and there are several others behind us, provides a semi-good view of the amounts of "crystal meth-something" mounded up outside. There're also other minerals, red dust, violet dust... and that's about all i remember. Then, the lady strikes up a conversation, and i reply (i don't remember anything about this conversation at all). The last part of it (which is what I DO remember) goes like this: Girl: (with a filipino accent) You're not so bad to talk to ah. Me: You either. The large train-elevator makes a turn, and i make out a larger, much, much, much, much larger version of that place where we used to saw wood in fifth grade, except with light from the top, and ... The End. It was all in all a pretty cool dream. I had duck meat-fried rice this morning. It was okay. Dammit, i wanna meet Aaron Lines. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "WAITIN ON THE WONDERFUL" GOES #1 Aaron Lines video for "WAITIN ON THE WONDERFUL" has made it's way up the video charts and has taken over the #1 spot on CMT CANADA'S CHEVY TOP 20 video count down. CONGRATULATIONS AARON! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just saw this on his official website. All I've got to say is... DAMN STRAIGHT!!!!!!! ABOUT F-ING TIME IT HIT NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!! There we go. Hahaha! Oh, and by the way, Aaron Lines is married. To Dana. His long time GF. Last fall. Yeah. |
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May 10th, 2005
Subterano: Pure crap. POSTED AT 01:35 AM Well this isn't even good enough for that kind of praise. It's all just sci-fi crap. Video game becomes real, attacks innocent people, people attempt to infiltrate base to beat thing at its own game (pun SO intended!), many die in the process, leaves lead male, lead female and some extra unano person to find out that the lead male and lead female had a son together, and that he's trapped by the big boss. Save the kid, run to freedom. Of course, there's the rebel in the group that tries to kill everyone. It's soooo lame!!!! Haaay. I can't believe i wasted two hours of my life on that movie. Kill me. Now. Oh, and it all takes place in a f***ing PARKING LOT!!!!!!!!!! |
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May 11th, 2005
Aaron's album bumped a month back from orig release date POSTED AT 02:07 AM FUCKING A-HOLES!!!!!!!!! Needless to say, millions of Aaron Lines fans were hugely disappointed, and the day it was announced to the general public, the entirety of Canada sighed in dismay. STUPID FUCKING... FUCKING HOW COULD YOU FUCKING BUMP THE FUCKING RECORD BACK BY ONE FUCKING MONTH???? UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now i had to wait. Life sucks. DEATH TO THAT STUPID LABEL!!!!!!!!!!! Aaron's not making it good enough. SAYS FUCKING WHO???????? IT'S JUST IN THE FUCKING STATES THAT HE'S NOT GOOD. DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN THAT CANADA SHOULD FUCKING SUFFER???? So i shall wait with my everlasting patience (not that i have a choice, really). Oh FUCKING well. Feeling: like killing someone |
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May 12th, 2005
There's a bit of good in life after all POSTED AT 09:16 AM I was listening to the radio on my way to the gimmick with sila Jackie and Christian, when, about five minutes from the main entrance of PowerPlant, i heard such a great song, i had to put the lyrics in my phone. Later on, i realized the song was Used To Love U by Kanye West featuring John Legend. I'm not exactly sure which one was Legend. He's supposedly some rapper. Then, during the movie, In Good Company, which is condign to the description "so-so" (and here, Jackie confesses that she thinks Topher Grace, the dude from That 70's Show, was cute. I think there's something up with his eyes.) but all the tracks were Norah Jones-ish type of easy-listening/blues. But the one song that really caught me was the one with the ridiculously high male voice that sang on ". . . so get used to the lonesome. Girl, you must atone some . . ." Hooked, and something about the beat striking my very core, i downloaded the song later on. It's called Gone For Good by The Shins, and i think it perfectly embodes how i feel at this point in life. The Scarred Reprieve is over. Things are going back to normal. Also, watching Top of the Pops the other, other, other day, i heard this catchy beat (effect much like Britney's Toxic, but sounding completely different) playing. And the title was... Jerk It Out by Caesars. Could you be greener? Geez. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gone For Good Untie me, I've said no vows The train is getting way too loud I've got to leave here, my girl And get on with my lonely life Just lay the ring on the rail For the wheels to nullify Until this turn in my head I let you stay and you paid no rent I spent twelve long months on the lam That's enough sitting on the fence For the fear of breaking dams I find a fatal flaw in the logic of love And go out of my head You love a sinking stone That will never elope So get used to the lonesome, girl You must atone some Don't leave me no phone number there It took me all of a year To put the poisoned pill to your ear But now I stand on honest ground You want to fight for this love But honey you cannot wrestle a dove So baby it's clear You wanted to jump and dance But you sat on your hands And lost your only chance Go back to your hometown Get your feet on the ground And stop floating around I find a fatal flaw in the logic of love And went out of my head You love a sinking stone That will never elope So get used to the lonesome, girl You must atone some Don't leave me no phone number there ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jerk It Out Wind me up Put me down Start me off and watch me go I'll be runnin' circles around you sooner than you know A little off center And I'm out of tune Just kickin' this can along the avenue But I'm alright Cause it's easy once you know how it's done You can't stop now It's already begun You feel it runnin' through your bones And you jerk it out And you jerk it out Shut up Hush your mouth Can't you hear you talk too loud? No can't hear nothin' 'cause I got my head up in the clouds I bite off anything that I can chew I'm chasing cars up and down the avenue But that's ok Cause it's easy once you know how it's done You can't stop now It's already begun You feel it runnin' through your bones And you jerk it out Cause it's easy once you know how it's done You can't stop now It's already begun You feel it runnin' through your bones And you jerk it out And you jerk it out And you jerk it out And you jerk it out And you jerk it out Oh baby don't you know you Really gotta jerk it out When you jerk it out Oh baby don't you know you Really gotta jerk it out When you jerk it out Oh baby don't you know you Really gotta jerk it out ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harry Potter (Order of Phoenix) is so dull. Nothing at all is exciting within the first two hundred pages of the book. In my opinion anyway. I'm still waiting for the part where Dumbledore fights Voldemort (as spoiled by Christian). Oh, and browsing the old conversations i had with Jackie, turns out, she's known about Christian for a while. Even before she found out that he was her nephew. Long before. In one segment of a conversation, she asks me if I knew him. I said yes, he was my classmate. She says that, as she had heard from sources, he had been spreading rumors about her being Matthew's brother. I think this is about the time that he did the shootout thing. Hmm... didn't know that little tidbit about each other, now did we, guys? |
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May 13th, 2005
I watched Subterano again. POSTED AT 02:04 AM Anyway, the entire movie was still crap. But at least i heard that nice theme song again! It's called I Am and i don't know who composed it but it was made for the movie. If anyone knows what it is, or has a copy, or anything at all, then please send it to me. essence_magic_halfangel@yahoo.ca Take note, that's not my YM address. Haha! Okay, anyway, if anyone can find its lyrics on the net, please do as well. Here's what i caught. ". . . tell me what you see." ". . . Don't crawl back inside, there's nothing i got to hide. I am, i am, i am what i am . . ." "It took so much time to find out who your are." "Someone get it straight to cover up the scars" "But i wanna dream on, reach out for the stars." The title is "I Am" by the way. Anyway, going out with sila Jaka later, and then calling Arbie as well. |
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May 13th, 2005
Nicole, screaming and Kamiseta POSTED AT 11:21 AM And Jackie taunted us. Shang was... something i had missed. The movie theatre was better than i remembered, and the winding escalators was a good architectural move. So we get a bit lost when we search the movie house and suddenly see Meggie and Jackie, both in capris, might i add. Except Jackie looks like a golfer. (Freaky much?) So, we squabble about what movies to watch, then agree on The Interpreter. Buy tickets for the two o' clock screening (it's about 12:47 then). We go down to eat lunch, where Alex and I get Burger King thingies and meet Jackie and Meggie at the circular yellow tables and eat. Alex, being the pilyo that he is, pulls at Jackie's ponytail, prompting her to scream. I was showing Meggie the video of Lex and Gwen then, and the scream took me completely off guard. She screamed so loud, everyone was staring at us. No exaggerations. Talagang nakatitig lang sila sa'min. Felt so weird... Jackie had her hand over her mouth for a good minute or two before letting it down. After which, we proceed to a level down and proceed to Power Station, and i tell the others to go ahead--i'll do American Eye Center first, to visit an old friend. Then, on the long, long walk there, i realized that there was a great possibility that he was no longer there. And lo and behold, his presence was unfelt. It had been three years, after all, since Joaquin had told me, turning four. He wasn't there. All this time, all the visits i made on days when it was closed--all for nothing. I don't know how long he'd worked there, and how long since he'd stopped. Hey, maybe he just worked a weekend shift or something. But i doubted it. Christian Lopez, thy hast left. So, i went back to Power Station and played the Dance Maniax with Meggie, and we failed several times. After we ran out of "load", we left (it was one thirty) and watched the movie. Well, that's not true. Alex bought a shake as the three of us entered early, and Meggie and Jackie sang upfront, "I Quit". I swear. Meggie could be a frickin pop star!!!!!!! She's so good! And then later, the lights dim and after a few shots on my phone, and a bit of twirling, we sit down and watch.. trailers. A few minutes into the trailers, Alex comes in and says that they didn't allow his drink in, so it's still outside. We go out and wait for him to finish his drink. Meggie and Jackie listen to the iPod. Meggie sings Unwritten like she's drunk. (sorry, Meggie) We see Moni. Jackie and I go in, and we are already seven minutes into the movie. Alex and Meggie come in, sit down and watch for a bit, then go shopping. They come back, and when the movie ends, Meggie brings Jackie to look at Kamiseta, and talks her into wearing a miniskirt. She does, and before i can get a decent picture, Jackie kicks me. A running battle ensues, and Meggie and I meet Jackie and Alex upstairs. They bring me into Human and try to get me to wear a) a jersey, b) a millefiori-y polo that's WAY too big for me, c) a weird blue sleevey thing and d) A THONG!!!!!!!! A FREAKING BLUE-WHITE THONG!!!!! Meggie ends up trying something on, as i decide to be extra KJ and not try anything. Meggie has chosen this nice brown top thing that i hope she gets, because she looked good in it. Some frilly neck thing on it. So we leave, and i arrive home to see Val. Who got back from the place of my dreams (hint: it starts with a C . . . and whoever says "Czech" can die) on the seventh of May. He leaves a bit later as he sits through a bit of Russel Peters, and now i'm doing this. Anyway, The Interpreter was such a cool movie. Nicole Kidman portrays her character perfectly, but Sean Penn's was a bit... dull. And where was the mandatory end-of-movie-after-everything-we've-been-through-romance-still-managed-to-blossom kiss? Now we KNOW that they had feelings for each other--it was so implied (implications peaking when Silvia slept on whats-his-name. This is where the line from that Sugababes song "Round, round, baby, round, round spend the night on me" is perfect) that if you missed it, you had to have a knife sticking out of your head. The entire movie made me wanna do something like that for my AL fic. Maybe something with Cantonese. Or Filipino, even. Anyway, that's all for now. Check the gallery for pics! Listening to: Agaetis Byrjun by Sigur Ros. Such a nice song... |
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May 14th, 2005
Dark Dreams POSTED AT 01:53 AM But all of these details swept over me in a whirl, as i raced through the corridor, stopping only upon reaching what looks like the Carpentry room crossed with another room, where there are these cowboy-saloon type doors five in a column, about seven in a row. Each would open on the sides, instead of right through. They seemed vaguely reminiscent of something in the old office, but i couldn't quite put my finger on. I pulled myself out of that place, spinning three sixty, only to have it abruptly end. Somewhere here, i had woken up to answer Mark's text. Arbie ain't going back to Xavier no more. He's switched to IS. The second dream occurs in the present day office, or, at least, what remains of it. There's a preexisting, unquestionable verity of fear of this cross of Marilyn Manson and Gackt that is coming to get me. I'm outside in the waiting area, and run into the secretary's/Flora's office, hide under Flora's desk and wait. Gackt Manson sort of enters the office, and i'm suddenly aware of another being present somewhere in my periphery. Just not sure what or who. Gackt Manson suddenly looks behind Flora's desk, and finds me crouched there, and the fear is overwhelming. I pause to look only to see an almost kind smile spread on his face. Then it blacks and seconds later, i am outside, sitting on one of the chairs, the knowledge that i have make up and a wig on embedded in my brain. And beside me is Doodle, sitting ever so timidly. The fear though, is evident in his eyes. Gackt-Manson attempts to effeminize him as well, forces me to do his bidding, and i am horrified, but have no choice. Gackt Manson heads into my dad's office, my entire being shaking with fury at him for coercing me to do this. He's defiling Dad's office, my mind screams. I feel heavy and oppressed, just at thought of having to effeminize Doodle. Just as i produce the black make up, from the dark abyss that had formed over the stairs bursts... Mr. Penas. There's suddenly some powerful drive within me, and i realize that i don't have to do this. I mean, i can kick Gackt Manson's ass, for crying out loud! Why the hell did i let him mutate me? Mr. Penas is shocked, of course, but i don't know what of. My disgusting make up? Or something else? I walk over to him, grab his face and kiss him, and i myself am shocked at this action. The bitter lipstick forced onto my tongue from the kiss is unbearable, and the concept of ... actually KISSING another man on the lips is just utterly repulsive to me! I dash into the office where Gackt Manson is seated at Angin's table, not appearing to be doing anything, reeling, and i say with suppressed but audible anger in my voice, "That's it." I rip the wig off of my head, as well as the earing on my right ear, "I'm through with this." I hurl the items at him, and then turn left and curiously make it into a CR. There, i furiously but triumphantly wash off my make up, and exit again, to find Mr. Penas. He stands there like nothing happened . . . And my eyes snap open. I'm lying flat on my back, head tilted to the side. Seven in the morning. My cellphone chimes. Mark's reply is in. He's flying to Boston from today til the first of June. Something about his sister's college. Congrats. Safe flight, Mark. I drift off to sleep, horrified by yet another gay dream. Several minor, forgotten dreams ensue after, but the first weighs heavily on my mind. |
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May 14th, 2005
Sunday Morning Angst POSTED AT 10:19 AM Six fifteen. Six sixteen. I just got back from a complicated two hours of work at the office, where i realized i had two months, turning three, worth of PDC backlog. It's that sucky. Ahh, the price of Canada. Urgh. I checked the date today and was semi-relieved that it was a Saturday. That meant tomorrow was the day of rest--of course, i realized that it really wasn't. We have to go to mass tomorrow. I swear, mass is no longer something that i feel i need to do. I could skip it for the rest of my life if i could. I mean, it's just an empty ritual for me. I can manifest my faith and belief in God through other means--prayer, confession, simply thanking him after another beautiful day. As a matter of fact, i don't think i believe in God anymore. I just . . . don't. I'm an atheist. And since I'm an atheist, then mass with the family is simply another chore. God save me (ha!). ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Ain't Living (Aaron Lines) It's been over ten thousand minutes since you said goodbye And I've thought about that moment at least a million times You were standing at the kitchen counter with a single tear in your eye The day you changed my life Well, I'm still going through the motions Well, I'm still taking in the air Oh, my heart's still beating, I'm still dreaming Just like when you were here But something's wrong, something's missing And it doesn't seem fair I'm doing all that I can do to make it through Well, I'm still breathing But this ain't living without you Well, I can't smell the roses and the rainbows are just shades of grey And all those things that made me happy just don't move me the same I can't help but remember us laughing, the way I held you every night You made my whole world come alive Well, I'm still going through the motions Well, I'm still taking in the air Oh, my heart's still beating, I'm still dreaming Just like when you were here But something's wrong, something's missing And it doesn't seem fair I'm doing all that I can do to make it through Well, I'm still breathing But this ain't living without you Well, I was minding my own business, down at our favorite bookstore Contemplating my own existence, when you walked through that door You asked how I was doing, so I did my best to lie But I wanted so bad to tell you, what I really felt inside (I'm going through the motions) Well, I'm just taking in the air Oh, my heart's still beating, I'm still dreaming Just like when you were here But something's wrong, something's missing And it doesn't seem fair I'm doing all that I can do to make it through Well, I'm still breathing But this ain't living without you Well, I'm still breathing But this ain't living without you |
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May 15th, 2005
Honestly, tell me . . . POSTED AT 12:23 AM Over I watched the walls around me crumble But it's not like I won't build them up again So here's your last chance for redemption So take it while it lasts, cause it will end My tears are turning into time I've wasted Trying to find a reason for goodbye I can't live without you Can't breathe without you I'm dreamin' bout you Honestly, tell me that it's over Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living It won't be right if we're not in it together Tell me that it's over And I'll be the first to go Don't want to be the last to know I won't be the one to chase you But at the same time You're the heart that I call home I'm always stuck with these emotions And the more I try to feel, the less I'm whole My tears are turning into time I've wasted Trying to find a reason for goodbye I can’t live without you Can’t breathe without you I’m dreamin' bout you Honestly, tell me that it’s over Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living It won't be right if were not in it together Tell me that it's over And I’ll be the first to go, yeah, I’ll be the first to go Don’t want to be the last to know (over, over, over) My tears are turning into time I’ve wasted Trying to find a reason for goodbye I can’t live without you Can’t breathe without you I’m dreamin' bout you Honestly, tell me that it’s over Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living It won't be right if were not in it together Tell me that it's over Tell me that it's over, over Honestly tell me, honestly tell me Don't tell me that it's over Don't tell me that it's over |
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May 17th, 2005
Tuesday Mornings like these POSTED AT 02:20 AM Then i read on, Alex bugging with the question "How's the book?" every two minutes of his waking existence. I don't even bother to answer anymore. J.K. Rowling had not expounded on Harry's reclusiveness after the death of his beloved Godfather, Sirius. There should be some (however cryptic) note that he possessed some kind of understanding deeper than any of the other Hogwarts Students, and that was why he had ostracized himself. She'd already started it with the bitter "none of them knew what was going on"s and "i can't believe they could stand to laugh and have fun as though nothing had happened"s ... might as well go all the way, neh? But it was a great book. Lovely. I must say, though, that them talking to the Dursleys like that about Harry's... maltreatment.. was wholly unnecessary. Just some boring add-on, i guess. And was that conversation with Luna Lovegood supposed to say that he COULD still contact Sirius, past the veil? I move out of my bed. The sun is cruel at this hour, its rays unforgiving. The brightness of it all is... compelling. I see Hale's The Day You Said Goodnight (or whatever it was) on TV and eat dejectedly. And that was when i realized that i was actually refreshed. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday Morning by Michelle Branch I remember stormy weather The way the sky looks when it's cold. And you were with me, content with walking so unaware of the world Please don't drive me home tonight, cause i dont want to feel alone. Please don't drive me home tonight, cause i don't wanna go Tuesday morning in the dark I was finding out who you are I took your picture while you were sleepin and then i paced around the room If I had known then that these things happen would they have happened with you? ohh Please don't drive me home tonight, cause i dont want to feel alone. Please don't drive me home tonight, cause i don't wanna go Tuesday morning in the dark I was finding out who I was And if you turned around to see me and i was gone Should have looked outside your window cause the sun was coming up the sun was coming up Please don't drive me home tonight, cause i dont want to feel alone. Tuesday morning in the dark We were finding out who we are Tuesday morning in the dark We were finding out who we are who we are... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sun Comes Up, It's Tuesday Morning by Cowboy Junkies Sun comes up, it's Tuesday morning Hits me straight in the eye, guess you forgot to close the blind last night Oh, that's right. I forgot. It was me. I sure do miss the smell of black coffee in the morning The sound of water splashing all over the bathroom The kiss that you would give me even though I was sleeping But I kind of like the feel of this extra few feet in my bed Telephone's ringing, but I don't answer it 'Cause everybody knows, good news always sleeps till noon Guess it's tea and toast for breakfast again Maybe I'll add a little TV too No milk! Oh God how I hate that Guess I'll go to the corner, get breakfast from Jenny She's got a black eye this morning, Jenny how'd ya get it She says, Last night, Bobby got a little bit out of hand Lunchtime, I start to dial your number Then I remember so I reach for something to smoke Anyways I'd rather listen to Coltrane Than go through all that shit again There's something about an afternoon spent doing nothing Just listening to records and watching the sun falling Thinking of things that don't have to add up to something And the spell won't be broken by the sound of keys scraping in the lock Maybe tonight it's a movie Plenty of room for elbows and knees A bag of popcorn all to myself Black and white with a strong female lead And if I don't like it, no debate, I'll leave Here comes that feeling that I'd forgotten How strange these streets feel when you're alone on them Each pair of eyes just filled with suggestion So I lower my head, make a beeline for home Seething inside Funny, I've never noticed The sound the streetcars make as they pass my window Which reminds me, I forgot to close the blind again Yeah sure I'll admit there are times that I miss you 'Specially like now when I need someone to hold me But there are some things that can never be forgiven And I kind of like this extra few feet in my bed ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday Morning by Pogues Too many sad days Too many Tuesday mornings I thought of you today I wished it was yesterday morning I thought of you today I dreamt you were dressed in mourning But I knew that you With your heart beating And your eyes shining Would be dreaming of me Lying with you On a Tuesday morning I fell through the window And I found that I was still breathing I thought of tomorrow And the fear that you might leave me I thought of tomorrow And I wished it was Monday evening But I knew that you With your heart beating And your eyes shining Would be dreaming of me Lying with you On a Tuesday morning Turn your face from me And I will cover myself with sorrow Bring hell down upon me I will surrender my heart to sorrow Bring hell down upon me And I will say goodbye tomorrow 'Cos I know that you With your heart beating And your eyes shining Will be dreaming of me Lying with you on a Tuesday morning |
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May 17th, 2005
Mom, me and this annoying fight. POSTED AT 12:29 PM She wanted help with the computer while i was reading Harry Potter, hell bent on finishing it. So, not wanting to have to have to break myself away from the entrancing book, i pointed to my brother, who was doing nothing. Of course, SOMETHING had to go wrong. I would've gone to help her, given a few moments and a simple "Please" for me to wrap up. But of ALL the damn things she could've said, it had to be "Huwag kang abusado ah." that came out of her mouth. Anger instantly rose in me, ala Harry in book 5. How fucking dare she? After all the times where she'd come over while i was asleep, when i had previous engagements, and she'd beg me and cajole me to help her, and i did. Where, when she needed someone to chat with, i'd oblige and chat up a storm with her. Where, when my brothers would not answer her, i would come and help her, do whatever she needed them to do. All those times i'd be the only one she could count on, and she'd come to me at three am, or at eleven pm and bug me to help her. All those things i did for her, every excruciating moment i spent being patient with her. Every time i had to bear her calling me a shit, or gago, or swear "p.i." at me, and hit me simply because she didn't understand what i was doing. All the times when i took every thing she could throw at me, all the criticism, all the ranting... everything. And i didn't complain. Not once. And she had the gall to tell me that i was "abusado". I never gave her an ounce of trouble. Everything she asked me to do, i did. Everything she wanted me to do for her, i did without complaint. And she could fucking tell me na abusado ako? AKO? Putang ina ... So i started yelling at her. And i could tell she had just realized that she had been hasty and that it just slipped out. But still, how could she even THINK that i was abusado? When did i ever be less than the perfect son for her? When had i took all the anger she felt for my brothers and bore it upon me? That fucking bitch. And she tried to brush it off, "Just shut up... come with me." And i said, plainly, flat-out "no". She of course, thought i was joking. So she goes over to the other room and sits and waits. I read on. Thirty minutes or so later, she comes back. "Go help me." I don't acknowledge her. "Go help me na. Go na." Ignore. "Allen, ah. Ayaw ko ng ganyan." then starts threatening and begging in Chinese. Ignore. She sits on my bed. Ignore, ignore... She still thought that i cared what she had to say. So when she tries to take the book from me, i wrestle it out of her hands. Finally, i had shown some kind of response. I glare at her. She tells me to go help her. I say again, "No." "Why not?" "Because you insulted me." And that was not just it. That line was loaded. She had overlooked everything that i had done for her. She had overlooked all the times that i'd been obedient-without-question and called me the one thing i was not. I wish she'd just go to hell. "How did i insult you?" NOW TELL ME. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU FORGET CALLING SOMEONE ABUSADO WITHIN THIRTY MINUTES??? I'm too incensed to speak right now. "Ah! Okay, since you don't remember, then just ask your other son to do things for you from now on." She keeps trying to make contact, but fails miserably. That bitch. That conniving, disgusting harridan. Die, bitch. Finally, she realizes that i'm not gonna talk to her. "Sige." she says, standing and making her way to the door. "Kung gaganyanin mo lang pala ako, don't ask me to do anything for you again." And she leaves. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next day, all her trespasses are forgotten. I was even willing to make peace with her and let it all fall in the past. But she wasn't. She refused to help me at all. And she had that disgustingly smug look on her face that said "Aha! Gotcha." that just made me want to pummel her brains out. If i didn't know before why both Alex and Dad had fought violently her, i did now. And Andrew probably just had more self-control over himself. She is impossible to live with. And quite frankly, if she died tomorrow, i don't think i'd give a flying fuck. I wouldn't even attend her funeral. I'd spit on her grave. And i wouldn't shed a single tear. If anything, SHE was fucking abusado!!!!! How dare she... And we had another quarrel. "How did i insult you?" she calls after me. I cave at last. "Tinawag mo akong abusado." "E abusado ka naman talaga, e! I was waiting there for thirty minutes for you--" "You insulted me long before that!" She retreats back to her room and i do the same. Neither of us want to speak and argue with each other. "And you dare to say na abusado ako? Ikaw ang may problema!" and her room door slams shut across the sala. I slam the door shut in mine as well and drown myself in Avril's vibrant music. Listening to: Nobody's Fool by Avril |
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May 18th, 2005
And aftera SHIT of a week POSTED AT 01:10 AM CHARMED HAS SEASON EIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG... HYPERVENTILATION... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PROOF? Here: "The power of the Halliwell sisters has entranced audiences for 7 seasons, but next year, their lives will be charmed in unimaginable ways. Piper, Paige and Phoebe have always been able to defeat the forces of darkness and still have time to buy the cutest cropped pants. But now they will encounter their greatest nemesis: a demon smart enough to expose them and ruthless enough to disrupt their overnight dates. With the police closing in on their bewitching identities, the Charmed Ones can depend only on themselves for survival. But the challenge to conceal their calling is about to prove impossible. Executive producers Aaron Spelling, E. Duke Vincent and Brad Kern for Spelling Television, Inc." http://www.thewb.com/Shows/Special/0,11116,230102%7c%7c,00.html YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Charmed!!!!!!!!!!!! soo effing happy!!!!!!!!!! |
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May 18th, 2005
This song is just fun! POSTED AT 11:10 AM Can you hear them They talk about us Telling lies, well that's no surprise Can you see them See right through them They have no shield, no secrets to reveal It doesn't matter what they say In the jealous games people play Our lips are sealed There's a weapon Which we must use In our defense, silence Spreading rumors, so far from true Dragged up from the underworld Just like some precious pearl It doesn't matter what they say In the jealous games people play Our lips are sealed Pay no mind to what they say It doesn't matter anyway Our lips are sealed Hush, my darling Don't you cry Crying angel Forget their lies Can you hear them They talk about us Telling lies, well that's no surprise Can you see them See right through them They have no shield, no secrets to reveal It doesn't matter what they say In the jealous games people play Our lips are sealed Pay no mind to what they say It doesn't matter anyway Our lips are sealed Our lips are sealed Our lips are sealed ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've been sick the entire day. Crap. I hate it when i'm sick. AL fic going through MAJOR improval. And i wanna go to Cath's play tomorrow. Oh well, time will tell. |
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May 19th, 2005
For Jackie's Sake POSTED AT 06:34 AM So here's that transcript that she so wanted (it involves Ryan Seacrest and Drew Fuller. So go figure.): 'On Air With Ryan Seacrest' [May 10, 2004] Transcribed By: Chantal Ryan: All right, welcome back. Seacrest here in Hollywood. If you don't Drew Fuller, you should. He's one of the stars of the hit WB series Charmed. He's smart, he's sexy, and we think he's got what it takes to be the next big thing. Let's go on deck. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, it is Drew Fuller. *Drew Fuller walks out to the stage* Ryan: What's up man? How's it going brother? Come on in, have a seat. *They both sit down* Ryan: Oh, see. Hey listen, real quick, Connie, ma, he's got a little of a scruff kicking. My mother always tells me to shave. Every time I wear the scruff on TV she says "Would you just shave, my friends watch the show." Drew to Connie: What's wrong with the scruff? Connie: I like it on him. Ryan: Huh? Connie: On him I like it. *Audience and Drew laugh* Ryan: I'm sorry, I didn't see the bus that just drove by. Alright, it does look good on you, you know. I mean that in a very uhh. Yeah, let's just start the interview. Drew: Ah.. *laughs Ryan: Uh, so tell me about your character on Charmed. Drew: My character on Charmed, he's very sensitive, and scared and shy. Oh, that's me, right now. *Ryan laughs. They are showing a clip from Charmed: Witch Wars* Drew: No umm, he's very, he's like, he's angry. And he's always, he came from the future, he is their Guardian Angel. He has this mission that he kind of has to save the future and it has been kind of put on his shoulders. And you know, it has kinda gone from there. Ryan: How about those girls, the triple threat? What are they like to work with? Drew: The triple threat, wow... Umm, you know that's the number one question that people ask me, "so what's it like, working with the girls", and I've tried to come up with something new and different to say each time. I mean, there is only so much good things you can say about these people. Ryan: Ok, let's cut to it, who's the most high-maintenance? Drew: Wow. *laughs* Me. Ryan: Ok. *Audience laughs* Ryan: Are you ready for the On Deck Quiz? Ladies and gentlemen here we go, the On Deck Quiz. Drew: Bring it. Ryan: Let's get to know Drew. *Audience claps* Ryan: Originally, where are you from originally? Drew: Born and raised in Los Angeles, local boy. Ryan: Well that never happens. Drew: Really? Ryan: Gosh, that is such a rarity, everybody moves here and get their first gigs. Alright, first big break was? Drew: Umm, I think it would have to be, it was a show on the WB called Home of the Brave that... *Audience starts to clap* Drew: Well, no no no!! It never saw the light of day, it never saw the light of day, but then that kind of... *Ryan interrupts* Ryan to the audience: Fakers! Drew: It's like, the applause thing is going off *claps hands*. Ryan: Yeah. Drew: No, it never saw the light of day but that segued into Black Sash, which aired, but then that got cancelled, but that segued right into Charmed. Ryan: So everything is a stepping stone. Drew: It was a stepping stone, and it's all, like it was all, everything was WB family. So I guess it went from doing small independent films where there was no craft service and we barely ate to you know, getting paid and you have a trailer that has air-conditioning and a black and white TV. Ryan: It's a good place to be. Do you have a girlfriend? Drew: Yes, yes I do. Ryan: How long have you been dating her? Drew: It's been awhile now, it's... *Ryan interrupts again* Ryan: When are you gonna get engaged? Drew: Whoa, dude, I was driving to work, about a month and a half ago and I was listening to the radio show, and when you said that you were getting engaged *Ryan interrupts yet again* Ryan: Ok, next question. Drew: Yeah *laughs hard and claps* Ryan: I uh, yeah it's a local LA radio show here at Kiss FM. It was just a tabloid report. Alright, your biggest pet peeve. Drew: Umm, *Ryan and Drew laugh* man. Ryan: Thanks for listening though. Drew: Hey, no problem man. Ryan: Biggest pet peeve. Drew: Umm, it would have to be callbacks. If I call someone, I leave a message, gotta call me back. Ryan: Yeah, that's, isn't that the... uh yeah, biggest phobia. Drew: Umm... flying, I hate flying. Ryan: Ok. You do, so you have to travel for work all the time. Drew: Yeah man, it's not cool. Like if, I need at least a week before to know that I'm... *Ryan interrupts* Ryan: To prepare yourself. Drew: So I'm, you're flying on the 19th, and I go like "ok, so today is the 10th so I have nine days to get in the mood..." Ryan: To get psyched. Drew: Yes. Ryan: First true Hollywood outing. True Hollywood. Drew: True Hollywood. Ryan: Yeah. Drew: Right after Titanic. Umm, because I am from here, but I had not really gone out with the Hollywood crew. Ryan: With Leo and the gang. Drew: Well dude, this is what happens. Right after Titanic, I swear to God, the first club I ever go to, I run in to Leonardo DiCaprio. Ryan: Oh, you did? Drew: And I was in shock, I couldn't believe it. He's huge first of all, he's way taller then me, and I was just like... so starstruck, it was unbelievable. Ryan: Yeah, and he has that trick of driving with the hat over his eyes out of the parking lot. I see him all the time on celebrities uncensored getting out of parking lots like this so the paparazzi doesn't get him. Drew Fuller, Charmed, on The WB Sundays. Thanks man...Good to see you. We'll be right back. *Ryan and Drew shake hands* And in case you were wondering, i got it from here: http://www.drewfullerfan.com/transcripts-ryanseacrest.php Still psyched over |
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May 20th, 2005
Cath's Play, Jack/Meggie and a dream POSTED AT 01:17 AM We walk around, then receive Cath's text, then go back and meet her, chat, take pics, leave for Superbowl, where Cath goes to eat with her family and the four of us go to teriyaki boy. Leave and walk around, and then go back when Cath texts us. We've also received a text sequence with Kikoy that goes as follows: Kikoy: did you see nikkys play Jackie: im sure you did Kikoy: i think i sat in the row behind you We show Cath and she does this "ew" face. Hahaha! Afterwards, Dad arrives and we leave for home. Yeah, it's very vague. But that's cos i typed an entire entry about it already and ... it just disappeared. Dang. Dream: Christian and I had caught wind of Brother Jiang's presence in Manila. He was dropping by for a visit. So we start looking, and for some reason, we ended up in Pam's house. Weird? So, we're looking at three doors. The first one has a priest. The second one has a monk that looks a lot like the dalai lama. The third one was just a blank. No, not even darkness. Just a blank. So when we turn around, the place shifts into a large auditorium. It's dark, and there are shadows and occasional rats. I squash the said occasional rats, and Christian suddenly freaks, and then pauses, brings out his cellphone, texts, and then uses that towel of his to wipe his forehead. So we see a set of stairs and, when we ascend and follow the winding path, we see a corridor to the left, and the door at its end opens and we see a large garden outside, sunny, with a green bushes and orange/pink flowers. And brother Jiang comes through. Then people from our batch materialize and start talking to him like old friends. So i get bored, and leave with Christian. Then cut. Next dream. *this is gonna be pretty freaky. It involves Harry Potter characters plus real people* Phone rings. I answer it. I am roommies with Cho Chang. Yes, laugh and make weird faces. Guy on Phone: Hello, may i please speak to Cho. Me: *knowing Cho's taking a bath* Um... sorry, she's asleep. Guy: Dammit! I can never seem to catch her awake anymore. Me: *glance at clock: 7:40* Oh, i see. *phone morphs into a cordless* *I walk to CR and open door. Curtain there, but i can tell Cho's asleep* *start talking to guy about trying harder and weird stuff like that* Guy: Okay. Thank you. *click* Next Day. This is the area in between the escalator, Burgoo and the theatres in PowerPlant. So imagine that area. Well, instead of just a space, there're tables there, and where the cafe was, it was now a DEC+7-11. Me, Andrew, Alex and Cho are sitting at a table, and Fred or George Weasley (one of those two) come up to us with a rectangular plastic container with cold meat in it. Freorge: They say there're rats in the salami. I open the container and start poking at the lump of meat with my spoon. Alex: Di mo ba siya narinig? There're rats in the salami! Me: No there aren't. *poke, poke, poke* End. Weird? Right? |
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May 21st, 2005
Dream and Yaoi. Separate things. POSTED AT 02:05 AM That's all i saw. Then it's the next day, and we're looking for the same room. And i know that i told her to trust me, and that i'd get her there on time. We're both apparently in the same class in some school. She sees that it's five minutes to time and we're still lost, and she start whacking me with her purse. I push a random door open to escape, and we find ourselves in the room. It's got pink, violet and blue lighting... so it's like one of those raucous biker bars. Stage in the front and a few chairs to the left, where we were sitting. Me: I told you we'd make it. *the place is still empty btw, so we're early* Then some large hulky guy enters and he's actually an ogre. Yes, an ogre. Ienne starts chatting with him and i feel OP-ed. Cut. My family is around me. We're in the driveway, and we're all strangely wearing red. Also, instead of just five of us, there are more. So it's dad and mom, me, and alex, and some dark-skinned guy that is apparently my brother, and his wife. And then there's my younger sister, who's also dark-skinned, and my this other guy that's somehow family. I don't know why Andrew wasn't there. As we're packing up to go somewhere, a truck sweeps by from the area that we're renting out and picks up married-dark-skinned-brother-guy-who-i-will-name-Moony-so-i-don't-have-to-call-him-married-dark-skinned-brother-guy and tosses him in their truck. Dad orders everyone to hop in and we drive to chase them. We weave through traffic for a bit, and the wife of Moony starts crying and Alex and mom start comforting her. And then the world blurs all of a sudden and i find myself in the driveway again. I do a head-count and find that Moony's still gone. So i realize that it's the next day already, and that we gave up searching for him and i start yelling at dad and alex. "... you just let them take him? What kind of a dad are you? I mean, he's my brother, for god's sake!..." So then i wake up and Home (ala Buble) starts playing in my head. Listening to it now. Weird. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jackie is into slash!!!!!! ECCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ew. And! She's not as tough as she said she was! She was all, "I like yaoi." So i tell her i'd challenge her (because she has issues with gayness) by looking for some random yaoi fic and forcing her to read it. So i tell her to go to Yahoo!, then search for Cedric Harry slash (we were on the topic of Harry Potter and Draco/Hermione ness so it just.. popped into my head.) She reaches this link called Harry Potter Rare Slash. So i tell her press "Ctrl + F" She does. And she's all, "WHOA!!!!!!! HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?????? THAT IS SOOO COOL!!!!!!" I tell her that it was Cam who taught me that. So meh. She types Cedric in the parcel, and is brought to "Bittersweet" She clicks and reads. And freaks. Where Cedric strips, and the writer blatantly babbles about exposed backsides and men observing other men, Jackie totally freaks. Decided she didn't wanna read anymore either. Me: I thought you liked slash. Jackie: (I swear, her answer was ridiculous) Yeah, but not like... sexually. Just... like... boyfriends and boyfriends and stuff! So i guess she was thinking slash was just supposed to be "Oh, hey, this is my boyfriend." "Yeah, and he's my boyfriend." The End. Sos. And when she has to read the SEQUEL (!!!!!!!) *laughing so hard now*, she starts texting me weird stuff. *ahem* observe: " "i won't keep you" promisd cedric who pausd nd brought one hand up to the back of harrys neck twistin fingrs into harys hair "though i want to" *eeeeeeeeeee!* " "GROPING?? GROPING?!!!! GROPING???!!!!" "THE LAST TIME I TOUCHED HIM?!!! BEHIND THE ARMOR?!! SHEDDING ROBES?!! SWEATERS?!! TIES? UNBUCKLING CEDRICS BELT??!!!" " "this presence is male. A young male. Your age, maybe. He identifies himself as your lover." heehee " "THE END WAS JUST... ... EWWW!!!!!!!!" So there, as you can see, the lady clearly does not love slash. *Laugh* And she also says she'll force Bea to read it. Haha! She loves yaoi rin daw... yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Links to said fics: http://www.geocities.com/hp_rareslash/aspen_bittersweet.htm http://www.geocities.com/hp_rareslash/aspen_closekept.htm ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And, well, okay, just to end the whole entry, i'm gonna post a song that's truly beautiful in my eyes. Err... ears. Whatever. My Way by Aaron Pritchett Theres a kind of lovin' that don't take much It'll leave you colder than a stranger's touch Some guys will lie late at night, then they're gone by morning light Well, that ain't my way Baby sure enough if you look my way you'll find my love Strong as an oak, solid as a pine , it shines like the stars above My way is moonlit nights, sunny days and treating you right You may have been in love before, but not my way Theres a kind of man, knows all the lines The body language The zodiac signs It's a cold, cold game and he plays to win But there's always a loser when that game ends Well, that aint my way Baby, sure enough if you look my way you'll find my love Strong as an oak, solid as a pine, it shines like the stars above My way is moonlit nights, sunny days and treating you right You may have been in love before , but not my way Well, that ain't my way Baby, sure enough if you look my way you'll find my love Strong as an oak, solid as a pine, it shines like the stars above My way is moon lit nights sunny days and treating you right you may have been in love before but not my way Well you may have been in love before But not my way My way My way Listening to: Home |
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May 21st, 2005
Finally, i get my chip fix. POSTED AT 03:37 AM I love junk food. And the family splurged on it last night in Cherry. Yum. I swear, i love chips. And i've been deprived. You know, it's very comforting to know that you can guzzle down eight bags of chips and sleep it off and be perfectly fine in the morning. I lost weight. Crap. I'm now 103.. where formerly, i was 107-108ish. Hence, the chip eating. But i'll never like... balloon and stuff. Whahahaha! I love my life! Junk Food tips: Mexicorn and Tortillos taste exactly alike, but one of them is cheaper than the other. Ruffles and Legend taste exactly alike, but Legend is smaller. And less expensive if you count proportion. Ruffles has more flavors though. And is higher crunch quality. |
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May 22nd, 2005
Cool Band thingie. POSTED AT 01:45 AM Ooh... and the bassist Kim Deal from the Pixies and the guitarist of Throwing Muses Tonya Donelly are a part of the Breeders. So meh. This is a really nice song. It's a bit.. haunting... but great nonetheless! Do You Love Me Now? by The Breeders If I saw you now Could I look in your eyes? Do you think of me, Like I dream of you? Do you wish you were here, Like I wish I was with you? You've loved me before Do you love me now? Does love ever end When two hearts have torn away? Or does it go on And beat strong anyway? You've loved me before Do you love me now? Come back to me right now! C'mon, c'mon come back to me right now! C'mon, c'mon come back to me right now! C'mon, c'mon, c’mon! You've loved me before Do you love me now? You've loved me before Do you love me now? |
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May 23rd, 2005
Harry Potter Obsession. POSTED AT 12:56 AM Harry Potter 4 promises a lot of fun and coolness. But sadly, Fleur doesn't look too good. Krum can look good or bad... depending on the angle and lighting... and his expression. Cedric... well... he looks like a brat. But that's cos the picture i got of him has him pouting like a five year old. Oh well... i guess he looks... fine? The angle kasi eh... Anywayzee... i shall now attach a GIF animation of the four champions. Alright, now this took me an entire evening to make... well, evening if you count the afternoon, so at least give it a shot. Neh? And it's one freaking MB... with dial-up, took me a century to upload... ugh... Talagang pinaghirapan ko to... so stare at it!!! Whahahaha . . . R/R please... [img:622955] I was helping Dania get over this sorry loser that two-timed her relentlessly. Talk about over-sex drive. It kind of felt good to help her... she's a good person, with a good soul, and a whole life ahead of her. And she deserves better than playing jerks. In fact, everyone does. And Dania is one of the most insightful people i have seen as of yet. She has a deeper understanding of ... things. (Right, Dania?) Well... she's really a kindred spirit... this is just absolutely ineffably fantastic... Well, anyway, Dania, here's to you getting over him... after all the drama.. Free by Destiny's Child Wait a minute, wait a minute I think I got to take some time and clear my mind cause if I don't I might (scream) Scream out loud in a little bit I'm a tell you what I'm talking about Ladies (Ladies, ladies) If you know what I mean When you in love you give your everything (I'm tired of that happening) This time is for you and me You been doing you I'm goin' do me Ladies help me sing it You steady telling lies I stayed and pacified While I kept denying the truth You always here and there Finally I don't care I'm going to keep it real with you [Chorus] Ain't no feeling like being free When your mind's made up And your hearts in the right place, yeah Ain't no feeling like being free When you've done all you could But what's misunderstood (It's all good, it's all good) Ain't no feeling like being free I'm like an eagle set free And finally I'm looking out for me Ain't no feeling like being free Cause my minds amde up And my heart is in the right place, yeah Hold 'em up, wait a second I got to get something off my chest My happiness was our happiness, I lived and (breathed) You and all your needs Let me speak, it's best I do what's best for me Now ladies, (ladies) I got my mind back I been there and done that (no looking back no) Oh, this time is for me If you been doing you I'm going to do me I'm free Time is of the essence And it's much too short to waste another minute on you While you steady trying to hide I'm packing saying bye Thought you were my dream come true [Repeat Chorus] No it ain't easy being left out (no) Or being forgotten about (being forgotten about) You don't deserve my love (my love) I've had enough set me free (free) [Repeat Chorus] Can I get some loving (mmm) Can I get some time (mmm) Loving in the morning (Yeah) And in the midnight hour (baby,baby) I gave you everyting you wanted (wanted) I gave you everything you needed (mmm) But you just didn't do right (no,no) So baby I'm leaving It feels good to be free [Chorus Out] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And I made this for Dania... I don't know why... [img:622973] |
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May 23rd, 2005
The Psychotic Freaks, who are POSTED AT 02:38 AM And only Jackie, Walter and I know of it. But now all of you other people (including the members, hopefully, will know of it too.) Me: (apparently, i'm the designated leader) Half-Elven. Thralendur L'edwyn. But Jackie wants to call me Chief Honcho Ungga-Bungga. And if you make sense of that, then you speak troll. People who take care of taxes and legal affairs and management of the castle and stuff... Jacqueline: Human. Lady of the Grounds... woman of magic... sort of like a Battle Mage... Evan: Human. Lord of the Grounds... man of swords... mostly a Knight... Walter: Human. Artist. I don't know what this is about, but meh. Christian: Human. Jackie made him the KITTY the pet cat. I made him Religious Scholar. (Get it? CHRISTIAN) Paladin. Watch in awe as he brandishes his blue-flamed sword of the heavens, his ornate gold shield thingy and a shiny suit of armor... Court Mageocracers: Adrienne: Gnome. Summoner. Power over all creatures. Includes otherworldly stuff (magical creatures of alternate planes). Earvin: Half-gnome. Bard/Minstrel. Weaves magic with music (the decision for his P.O.P. (position of power) might have had something to do with his knowledge of songs). Influences emotions. "If music be the food of life, play on." Katrina: Sidhe. Priestess + Druidess... healer + command over forces of nature. Minor critter control. Powerful divine might. Catherine: Elven. Necromancer (the sallow complexion plus the stick-thin-ness? The decision was unanimous. No offense meant, Cath.). Deals with the undead... can call spirits, raise the dead, etc... also capable of taking lives... So there ye have it! This is us... The Psychotic Freaks |
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May 23rd, 2005
Waiting In Canada by Jann Arden POSTED AT 04:15 AM Every doubt you have All of these things will pass away All of your big mistakes Your little old heart would break Wishing that I would take them back Write down the things you don't want, Burn them in a glass Write down the things you dream of, Make a paper plane that flies to heaven And buy a ticket for a plane, And come and see me, baby. Or drive your car all night, By just starlight, To Canada That's where I'll be waiting. All of the empty rooms, All of the silent space, Every warm embrace is you. Nothing is like it was, There's nobody here but us, I have been filled right up with this Write down the words of sadness, Burn them in a cup Write down the things you've wanted, Throw them to the wind that's soaring up to heaven And buy a ticket for a plane, And come and see me, baby. Or drive your car all night, By just starlight, To Canada Oh, buy a ticket for a plane, And come and see me, baby Or drive your car all night, By just starlight, to Canada That's where I'll be waiting. |
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May 24th, 2005
All The New Songs POSTED AT 01:29 AM Here we go. - Paint It Black by The Vines (which is an iffy-ish song) - Ride by The Vines (which was also the song used in the WB Image Campaign of 2004 but they used only the refrain: "ride with me... ride with me... ride with me... awwhhh...") - Cannonball by The Breeders (which has a great beat... but i can't believe i'm listening to what i used to call "Goth music") - Here Comes Your Man by The Pixies - Where Is My Mind by The Pixies - Get Free by The Vines (but it doesn't work)... So... well it's not the greatest selection of songs, but i believe it's a bit better than Alex's What A Girl Wants soundtrack craze.. neh? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ride (see: above) That's the start the MIDDLE and the end Aren't you glad the universe pretend If I don't get this message honed Once again I'm gonna hate alone Ride with me Ride with me Ride with me Ooh Ride with me Ride with me Ride with me Noooyeahhhh Bored aloud ignore the right to be Invite me down because we like to see The colors through your loaded mind FUCK the world and liberate our time Ride with me Ride with me Ride with me Oohh Ride with me Ride with me Ride with me Oohhhh I'm not waiting a long life I'm not waiting alooone Ride with me Ride with me Ride with me Oohh Ride with me Ride with me Ride with me Oohh ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brainstorming with Arbie is always, always fun. I'm not sure why, but somehow, Backwards is going to have three endings, as is Continued, and I ended up mapping out plans for BTL (that's the name of the Aaron Lines fic... and you can just guess what "L" stands for...). YAHOO! MESSENGER BETA, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT YET, YOU CAN GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!! http://beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ It's got FREE WORLDWIDE CALLS AND DRAG-AND-DROP PHOTO SHARING!!!!!!! THIS IS JUST SOO... WOW... |
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May 25th, 2005
Creative Expression POSTED AT 07:27 AM Lucidity from days gone by Days of wallowing, and shallow pass times of love Remember you, and your perfect person Liberation from the throaty web that binds Washed off days of infinite longing For the ice in my veins And the fog in my head Conspired to create Me, neutrality The silent scream Knowing we could never be And seeing your presence Communicating but miles apart Untouchable Unreachable Carved your way into my heart And left so much later Feeling so lonely Perhaps untrue, this love? Regardless, it was there It was. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I also have a new favorite song. No, it's not an Aaron Lines song. Although he is still my favorite artist. It's Waiting In Canada. I think the chorus really says what i want. I just watched Miss Match. And Prozac Nation, which sucked. And Mona Lisa Smile, which kind of sucked at the end (NO PERFECT LOVE???? WHYYYYY....) Oh well. I don't know how people get off with all this disgusting crap producers make. I know it's supposed to make a statement, but movies are supposed to be release for people, not a big-screen reminder of how crappy life is. |
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May 26th, 2005
CARRIE... WON!!!!!!! POSTED AT 02:08 AM BREATHE BREATHE YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! CARRIE FREAKING WON!!!!!!!!!! SHE DESERVES EVERY BIT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . I have to admit, Bo was damn good. But his performances were all monotonous sometimes... except for a dazzling few, in which he raised the roof and brought the house down. Carrie picked songs that weren't her type. BUT WHEN SHE CHOSE THE GOOD ONES..... PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!!! CARRIE WON!!!!!!!!!!1 I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!! SINCE ANTHONY LEFT, CARRIE HAD TO WIN!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO CARRIE. |
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May 26th, 2005
Poetry...lalala POSTED AT 10:48 AM And i know the feeling when you try to read a poem on the net, or you stumble across it and you just don't feel in the mood for poetry. Especially the crying-over-love, dark-vengeance-y type. But that's the one that you're gonna read now. Except for the dark-vengeance-crying part. So that's just over love. Haha! Okay... enough of the psychoblather. I shall go on with the poetry now. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Doubt Love’s rapture no longer runs From head to heart I question the truth of the love that was Thoughts and ponderances of something Real though it felt Of the verity of that, I am unsure Does distance not strengthen love? No. Not from my experience. Distance leaves the love to die And perhaps solitude is a means to heal the heart The heart that ached for you Warmed for you Thought of you every night For so long It wasn’t meant to be But I fear, that as days of togetherness Close in on us, That I may return To the beginning And fall for you, all over again Ache for you Love you, again Not again . . . ------------------------------------------------------------ Untitled Yesterday, I loved you With a full heart Forgetting the horrors of an awry love in the past Healing my scars and holding my heart open for you But you loved another Another that was not me I was your confidant In my anonymity was your trust Yesterday, I stared at you, breathless Today, I stare at you, unaffected For free am I |
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May 27th, 2005
Worthless Stuff POSTED AT 03:47 AM Guy and prostitute are in bed after... the deed. Guy: Get out of my house. Ho: Fuck you. Guy: You just did. Ho: It's okay... i have STD's. Guy: I used a condom. Ho (thinking of a way to scare him, bluffs): Well... i have genital warts! Guy (smiles): So do i. Okay... that may have freaked you out a bit.. but hey, i dun really care. Next! Alex, Mom, Dad and i were at the dinner table. Dad: Why don't you want the electric fan to rotate? Alex: It keeps messing up my hair! Mom: So? Wala namang titingin sayo dito eh. Alex: Bakit, hindi ba kayo tao? Mom: Hindi naman kami titingin sayo e. Me: Ask a stupid question . . . And everyone sort of laughs. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Canada I lie in my bed I cherish the sun Its warmth, its light My body remains still But my mind floats Away to the world that I fell in love with To the country of my dreams Missing every whiff of its intoxicating ambience Every beautiful Canadian morning Every frozen spring shower Every walk in Coquitlam’s winding streets Every touch Every impression Every thing. I took it all for granted But my God, Canada, When I fell in love with you that summer, two years ago I never forgot you |
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May 27th, 2005
White Gold POSTED AT 01:12 PM Platinum Angel. Celestial. White Gold. It all just sounded a lot better in my head. Now it sounds like a rusty angel made of grey stuff. Whatever. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep I’m barely hanging on Here I am, once again I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes (urgh! This line has to go uuuupp!!! My God...) I told you everything, opened up and let you in You made me feel alright, for once in my life Now all that’s left of me is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside Cause I can’t breathe, no I can’t sleep I’m barely hanging on Here I am, once again I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes (UUUPPP!!!! Go UP dammit!) Swallow me, then spit me out For hating you, I blame myself Seeing you, it kills me now No, I don’t cry on the outside anymore Anymore Here I am, once again I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes (UP, I BEQUEATH THEEE!!!! UP!!!!) Here I am, once again I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes (Omg, i swear, UP!!!!) |
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May 28th, 2005
Alright, i give up. POSTED AT 12:59 AM Partly cos i don't know how. So if anyone is kind enough to donate a layout (or create on, hell, i don't care) along with instructions on how to work the Main HTML and Entry HTML, please, drop me a comment. Hopefully, it involves a Platinum Angel. And Charmed. And So Close. Any or all. Shyeah, right. Like that'll happen. Oh... JV, where are you now. |
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May 28th, 2005
Why Is Love So Complicated??? POSTED AT 01:48 AM Well, you're now probably wondering who it is. And if i'll reveal who she is. Well, it's not a person. It's a country. Haha. Yeah, you're all deflated now, cos you've heard me rave about Canada enough, but you don't have to read anymore if you don't wanna. I tell you, I, I will be there Like heaven, earth and water baby I wanna breathe the same air The same air that I know you’re breathing, honey Every morning, noon and night you’ll see that I’ll never be that far out of your reach I will be there This song truly embodies what i want from Canada. And when i hear Aaron Lines songs, i remember everything about Canada. Everything i visualize... it's always Canada. Why??? Canada is always in my heart. I'm obsessing . . . so bad . . . i need this . . . I need to be in the country, thinking, loving, breathing.. knowing that i'm there, physically--i've already taken care of the emotional and mental aspects . . . Haaaay. Canada, Canada, Canada. What kind of spell have you cast over me now? I want to study there. Seriously. I wanna study there and grow up there, and live there, and be with family there. i wanna go to UBC and get a job as a shrink or something. i wanna experience love. i want to meet Mrs. Elaine Choo again, and chatter about her husband and sons who both have Filipino girlfriends. I wanna learn French and Cantonese, and talk with her in Fukien and Mandarin and meet her family, and her Korean friend. I wanna have long talks with Courtney and Rachel and Jay about every little, doggone thing. I wanna walk in the airport and cycle in Stanley Park, and walk with Aku Jojo and Uncle Jake and torture everyone with Aaron Lines in that car that they rented. I wanna walk around in Penny's Place and absorb the sunlight. The roominess. I wanna watch Gilmore Girls again and again and again . . . I want to see the four Aaron Lines videos again, and watch Andrew and Alex's horrified expressions, which soften as they progress through the video and ultimately end up with them singing Aaron Lines for the next three days. I wanna have to pull my jacket on when i walk in the streets. I want people to smile at me and talk with me like they've known me forever. I wanna walk around in that library, i wanna get groceries in Superstore. I want to Xerox stuff in Staples. I wanna walk around in that Wendy's/other restaurant thing across Ethan Allen and all those shops. I wanna walk around in that Chinese restaurant and meet that nice girl from mainland that doesn't act like a bitch, and walk around see the shocked expressions on the OFW's faces when they hear us chatter in out native tongue. I wanna talk in Mandarin with people that don't know me. I want to see HSBC and laugh when i see all the video cameras and pluck out brochures and meet with Achie Ann Ann and go out with her and have fun. I want to sit in Court's room with all her friends and talk about Auntie Bambie's World of Warcraft addiction, or Rachel's bf, and tease Courtney about Ben and wonder why Ying's name is pronounced that way and ramble on about CP and Jess and Sam and Cla and watch So Close and meet all her other friends at school and have them look at us like we're weird. I wanna talk to Rachel about Gackt songs, and force her to listen to BK Love and Memory Pieces, i wanna listen to a whole set of Aaron's songs in the iPod without a care in the world. I wanna lie sleepless at night, soaking up the essence of Canada, knowing that i am in the place that i love, cherish each moment that i'm there, never leave again. |
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May 28th, 2005
This is The TOTAL OPPOSITE . . . POSTED AT 03:35 AM Want You Bad by Offspring If you could only read my mind You would know that things between us Ain't right I know your arms are open wide But you're a little on the straight side I can't lie Your one vice Is you're too nice Come around now can't you see I want you All tattooed I want you bad Complete me Mistreat me Want you to be bad If you could only read my mind You would know that I've been waiting So long For someone almost just like you But with attitude, I'm waiting So come on Get out of clothes time Grow out those highlights Come around now can't you see I want you In a vinyl suit I want you bad Complicated X-rated I want you bad Don't get me wrong I know you're only being good But that's what's wrong I guess I just misunderstood I want you All tattooed I want you bad Complicated X- rated I want you bad I mean it I need it I want you bad |
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May 29th, 2005
Something that I used To Feel POSTED AT 08:23 AM Upon reading the lyrics, i realize that this is a song that i should've dedicated to someone, but sadly, learned of it a year too late. I'll dedicate it now. Where Is Your Heart? by Kelly Clarkson I don't believe in the smile that you leave When you walk away and say goodbye Well, I don't expect the world to move underneath me But for God's sake, could you try I know that you're true to me You're always there, you say you care I know that you wanna be mine Where is your heart, cos I don't really feel you Where is your heart, what I really want is to believe you Is it so hard to give me what I need I want your heart to bleed, that's all I'm asking for, oh Where is your heart? I don't understand, your love is so cold It's always me who's reaching out for your hand And I've always dreamed that love would be effortless Like a petal falling to the ground A dreamer following his dream Where is your heart, cause I don't really feel you Where is your heart, what I really want is to believe you Is it so hard to give me what I need I want your heart to bleed, that's all I'm asking for, oh Where is your heart? It seems so much is left unsaid But you can say anything Oh, anytime you need Baby, it's just you and me, oh yeah I know that you're true to me You're always there, you say you care I know that you wanna be mine Where is your heart, cause I don't really feel you Where is your heart, what I really want is to believe you Is it so hard to give me what I need I want your heart to bleed, that's all I'm asking for, yeah Where is your heart, cause I don't really feel you Where is your heart, what I really want is to believe you Is it so hard to give me what I need I want your heart to bleed, and that's all I'm asking for Where is your heart? Where is your heart? Where is your heart? Where is your heart? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Win A Date With Tad Hamilton was one of the greatest movies i'd ever seen. Sweet, and sad, and realistic. And just when we thought Tad was become human, he got the role and turned into... one of them. You know, those plastic Hollywood-y types. How could he lie about the six smiles? Kate Bosworth's performance was exceptional. But Josh looked stupid one too many times--and on the wrong occasions. And what was up with the gay guy hitting on him relentlessly in the motel? "Do you happen to have a good masseuse?" "No, but i'm a very fast learner and i--" *click*. Haaay. Well, t'was a great movie all in all, but the ending was less than spectacular. It ended with Topher inviting Kate to dance. In the street. To radio music. The "The End" bit was cute. But not enough to save it. It should've ended with one spectacular kiss, and Josh should've been there watching, having his heart ripped out of his chest, and his gut stabbed, then twisted around with a wrench. And have his kidneys ripped out too. But noooo.... he had to be all pleasant and understanding and... cool about it. AND I STILL SAY ROSALEE AND TAD SHOULD'VE ENDED UP TOGETHER!!!!!!!! And what the hell is up with his name???? Tad??? As in, like, "He's just a TAD stupid..." But seriously, he and Kate were better off. The only character development we saw to Topher's character, Pete (who doesn't even have a freakin last name!!!! (which further stresses my point)), is the "talk" with the bartender girl and the moment-of-truth where he kisses Kate on the eve of her flight to L.A. Well, it had the cute, funny moments too. Like when Tad appears in the grocery and her best friend rips the chip bag apart in a scream. And when Pete assaults Tad in the CR!!!! That was SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!! I swear, i thought Pete would just jump him right there... However disturbing that might be to some of you. Then that part where he gets the tissue and chops it with his right hand... irresistably funny! It's like Hugh Grant's reaction to ice plopping into a glass during Two Weeks Notice--giggle-worthy. And is it just me or is it all about Duhamel undressing? First it's Duhamel with no shirt, then it's Duhamel with no pants, then no shirt again... and was his fly unzipped in the motel with Kate??? Ech... definitely a buttered popped corn movie. NOT Chips and Dalandan Soda. Oh God... So there. Slept at one am watching. Blahaha. |
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May 29th, 2005
Second To The Last Gimmick POSTED AT 08:47 AM We arrived in National (Greenbelt 1) and Christian appeared, along with Glenn. So we go to the theatre place where Avenue Q is supposed to be, and Christian and Glenn start talking about Dora and Sesame Streetness, and explain to me who exactly the characters are (Yes, I'm sorry i don't know what Sesame Street or Dora is). And Christian, for some reason, keeps bringing up big bird... Then Ienne appears. Okay.. whahaha... with her aunt. So she calls Jackie, we squabble about who has what tickets, and i goad Christian and Glenn into getting dinner. I decide i want some good old Jollibee. We get food, talk, and somewhere there, Jackie appears with a bang (literally), and runs off to find Kacy. We run back off to Av Q place, Jackie tells us to get into the line, we do, Cath arrives, fuss about My Chemical Romance and the creepy guy that looks like Wendy's dude (check Canada entries), except with shorter hair and worse, much worse, teeth. Squabble with Cath and Ienne. And then we see... shoot. Dennis Laogan, this dude that I'm just SURE that Arbie knows, and Marco Kau with a bunch of girls that Jackie and Christian know. Mehehehe. Finally, we get in, and wait several halves of hours. During which we shifted seats, met Ienne's friends, rambled about Cath's bag, the iPod, Christian and his issues with everyone's hot siblings (Cath: My brother's hot. Christian: Does that mean i can say my brother's hot? Glenn's hot. Me: I don't even say my brother's hot in jest! And Jackie thinks Meggie's hot.), American Idol winners (Cath agrees that Anthony should've won! And I tell her of Scott's criminal charges pre-Idol, as related to me by Arbie). Finally, we watch the play. Cath agrees to pick on everyone. Everyone was so queer. Seriously. And it deals with a lot of issues. Like everyone being a bit racist and the internet being good for porn. And it was so freaky i don't know how they functioned. And Cath agrees (again) that there shouldna been an intermission. it just breaks the mood. So the play ends with Cath and Ienne and I being completely ruthless with regards to the play, and we leave for Starbucks, but not before taking a picture and dissing a) the poor security of the Phils (a plastic stool for a padlock), and b) Hongers. Cath lends me Win A Date With Tad Hamilton, and i have water, we walk back into the mall ("we" meaning me, Alex, Christian and Glenn), and Cath and Ienne go. Then we see Christian's dad, they sit, and we see our driver. We leave and get home and watch W.A.D.W.T.H. (see: below). And I do not know of a time where anyone updated their tabulas on the previous gimmick earlier than me. I just checked--only Ienne's was updated. And that was for yesterday, pre-gimmick. |
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May 30th, 2005
AAACK! GAY DREAM!!! AGAIN!!! POSTED AT 01:37 AM There's a large blank in my memory before this, but we were in a mall that looked a hell of a lot like Coquitlam Center. Except it was evening, and the lights were turned down low. Yellowish light. Christian and some guy that i got the impression was Glenn were with me, and we were walking around. And then somewhere along the way, in Starbucks, i think, we met some guy, blond, my height, most definitely Canadian (as in there's that back knowledge in your head. Like, okay, this guy--he's Canadian). He's thinnish, and i couldn't really make out what his face looked like cos it was evening when i glanced at him. Alright, lights down low, walking around, Christian and I blather, Glenn says nothing, i don't realize the blonde guy until we're outside. It looks like that place where Andrew did his business school (from the outside, with the steps, and the condo like look). We walk around on the road, and the blond guy suddenly has roller blades on him, and he pulls me to him and, after telling Christian and Glenn that we're leaving, he blades down the road and somehow, i'm blading right along with him, but i'm wearing rubber shoes. And then we strike up conversation, and we're barreling through the (strangely frozen) streets of Canada... and then he puts an arm around my waist (X__x" (stole that from Courtney) ugh), and i kind of like... put an arm around his neck, and then the other arm to wrap around that. And then we blade along like that.... Right. So, we're driving on and reach this area that looks like a tiangge turned road and there're these ridiculously low ceilings that get even lower still as it passes. Luckily, we're not in a car, so we skate along just fine. I guess this guy is an ice hockey player. Cos he skates so well on ice. And of course, here the ice has faded back already, and it's semi-warm, but kind of chilly. And then we reach a door. That's my stop. I turn and then... hug... him... tight... like, really tight... and then i turn and leave and find myself wondering if that was a date. Oh God. And THEN i wake up... |
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May 30th, 2005
Breathe by Kitchie Nadal POSTED AT 05:39 AM You caught my heart. Things are never the same. My senses numb. The word still reverberates repeatedly in my ear. I want to see you again. It’s hard to breathe ever since then. The coldness sweeps, warm tears again. It’s hard to breathe ever since then. The coldness sweeps, warm tears again. Something that you said, I’ve always cherished within. You took my hand. Things were never the same. Lying beside you now. All alone in the room. Always been so happy, since you mended my wound. It’s hard to breathe ever since then. The coldness sweeps, warm tears again. It’s hard to breathe ever since then. The coldness sweeps, warm tears again. Yet again... the song reflects my feelings towards a certain someone in my sordid past. Lalala... and who better to create the song that reflects my feelings than our very own Kitchie? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And guess what? SIN CITY IS OUT ON THE FIRST OF JUNE!(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) YES RAPHIE, THAT'S RIGHT!!!!!!!!!! FIRST OF JUNE!!!!!!!!!!! SO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVEN'T YET WATCHED THE GLORY OF BRUCE WILLIS EVISCERATING POLITICIANS' KIDS, ELIJAH WOOD'S HOOKER-EATING TENDENCIES AND MIHO'S ABILITY TO WEILD ALL SORTS OF WEAPONS AND EMBED THEM IN HUMANS IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEY'RE NOT DEAD, THEN WATCH!!!!!!!!!! It's kind of nice that it would happen to be this Wednesday, as it'd coincide with our gimmick. And i won't have to deign to watch Madagascar!!!!!! Star Wars 3 AND Sin City on Wednesday! I can't wait!!!!!! Thank You Lord. |
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May 31st, 2005
PowerDance Recital and Fuller Than Most POSTED AT 03:18 AM Dad and mom were pissed off. So was I. I swear, i could've committed bloody murder there. Anyway, we went back home discussing how he was free from PowerDance and how he was sad about it at the same time, and how he was looking forward to a freer schedule. Got home, ate pizza, blathered, slept. Haaay. Also, i finally finished Fuller Than Most. It was shorter than i expected, but every bit as powerful, i think. Well, go to www.freewebs.com/halfangels to view it. Yay. |
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